YC S15 Demo Day - Epic Poem

YC DD S15 

ding a ling
a ling
a ling

the program... IS ABOUT TO BEGIN

just a hominid - searching for a homonym 

Teabot, make me a sandwich. actually, it's a robot
one that makes tea. What's this business model
10 sqft = $10k in revenue, converting space to cash
tea is growing faster than coffee, they have a contract

401 ! but not the providence area code, not Project 401
this is CAPTAIN 401. a nervous performer. 
words flowing like chopped romaine, cherry tomatoes
a drizzle of dressing is... impressing?

wow on the brand of this medical thing... circle CI
meets one medical. It's both. 
weebly is using them. I've confumed ash room. 
maybe... I needs a medical soon. seeing through the veil.

wait I need a second. DRY HEAVES. a second... Measure!
dude these stats are bomb as fuck. I'm seeing numbers
they have already hit $600k in annual revenue, so that's coo
"This is why second measure WILL BE the next bloomburger"

A nervous quarble, a good new drug. How about existing drugs?
There was a similar concept in last years batch. 
Lol at a no laugh Viagra joke. "Pfizer is feeling pretty lucky"
Verge Genomics tech good, jokes fizz-less pop cola.

Let's get chinese wit it. but how about a little trick?
getScale is oDesk for factory workers in China
our robot overlords have arrived. 300% fewer defects
oops I got distracted.

SMS payments, this is for lending.
A heart warming photo of a small business owner in Africa
some confusing up and to the right, is this big?
so the market is 3.5B let's go get it

a new kind of car battery? OHM has that
1886 is the year when the old ass battery type was invented
now he whispers, really telling us something, on the low
supercapacitors+Lithium this is real. and better than duralast.

how the hell do I pronounce... Ixchel? ishul. 
The founders are women in nice rainbow scarves, a better look.
drug development with plastic dishes and mice?
I'm telling you 3D is the future of simulated human tissue.

a british asian guy? Xendit. 
their 1.5B indonesian transaction number comes out. as USD. 110k.
I think they were once called venmo of Indonesia
it's compelling, I think there's money flowing

Foxpass has a catchy brand, they make great security simple
but do they up the stakes on a far ouch room land binge,
high on the kites of a fervent desert wind. 
I have to admit, I don't like the existing solutions.

with an andreesen big boi swagger, they take the stage
these guys look like they are about to take over the world
cymmetria tricks hackers. something like a soviet cyber bannerman
two pectoral polo men flanking my opulent technology

OOLU, hm was this what i was dreaming about? Cole would love it
"we're solar city for off grid West Africa" similar to the Nigeria plan
she rode a rural donkey for 6 miles to charge her cell phone. wow
they have a little kit they lease, it looks great. pay by text

a lot of the numbers today have been user growth, without a $ 

Can I have a look at your BodyPorts? 
They rigged up some red head work out man with WIRES, like neo
their thing looks like a scale. 
im starting to have to pee

oooh. Click and grow. The sickest shit I've ever seen for $299
it's a hydro setup as a kitchen island, nano-soil keurigs you get
but does that mean waste? "cheaper than whole foods" not saying much
they already sold $4M worth of table top systems.

and now for the most boring thing ever: Ironclad
we automate legal contracts for companies
so yeah, I'd pay not to have to think
about this.


I'm now fully torqued.
I'm back
I'm ready torpedo loaded, no lack of flow since six months ago

the intensity of this room, lowers my flow
a fervor, almost a pro sports game in here
inspiring images splay the screen
flayed founders, bearing all

narcotic elements trickling through the crowd my screen melts
the effects one small step can have.
allocating some resources here. this is all PRE show
QASAR with the loud ass whistle

let's do this.

Tab. sort of a relevant name for thsometinnhr
but it's one off. you can pay with Tab, Guatemala, Argentina
Americans are so crass they say "GWATA MALA" 
ok, this is going to be harder than I thought.

Nebia is a great shower head that I've heard of. Garry Tan
must have posted about it.
Kickstarted -1.9M raised thata way. how delivered bruh?
"This creates an experience that is immersive ALMOST CLOUD LIKE"

whatever breaks, the format, makes the format

may not sound particularly sexy? It ain't fool.
they have dollar growth! It peaks out around 150k guessing monthly?
so maybe, shit... Justin got Buzzfeeded
cause of the weird racist troll. 

whoa... ok she looks cool.
they have $20k in weekly revenue, I think the growth is real
The dudes who aren't presenting look SUPER nervous
so... they have a tool Zeplin, need more name emph.

These guys have that in spades: Supply.
charge within 5 feet. amazing tech. These companies are late stage
performing on a great stage
they need a little paper, scraping minimum wage.

Co-factor is another genomics supplier. can we have enough of these
we're the team that worked on the human genome project
but only you believe it.
I'm having one of those saliva factory mouth conditions personally

ecommerce in asia? "there's something strange about asia"
dude, I'm fucking with this.
don't show this ridiculous growth chart, you had me going
he uses that tone of voice like we're talking to little kids right now heh.

whoa. the dude is having this... self driving electric car. it's dopeAF
Auro Robotics. omg I'm having a hard time keeping it together
the shit that appears on the sides of websites these days
"Vampire looking cat"

preventing cost over runs on construction projects seems
impossible. counter to the nature of the industry?
holy shit, that adds up to $300B a year in the US only 
Hua calls it: "Let's build, but not waste!"

the user experience is the thing that takes a massive, milky hit.
laced with hash.

careledger I'm sorry
but your compelling incentive, snap chat style slide up for 3 seconds
is non-compelling from my perspective
now we are back to this $300B savings number.

guys, it's a three hundred billion dollar industry.
did you say trillion?
no. not trillion 
that would be S16's magic number

lol. that dude has a huge bicep
fuck this, so funny
how did he do it? this product
ShapeScale is the way to be self conscious of the future

so, i think i might be losing body mass
due to these hallucinogens

first person to actually walk the stage, this guy has done it before
most confident format presenter I've seen yet.
Insurance on investments
they are all wearing vest, they have vests on, they are Vest.

but I doubt they own vest.com

we built a wheelies at MHQ the other day
now we have a so swag hipster stockholm man in some tiny shorts
telling us about how wheelies is going to beat starbucks
those things are hard to push. 

Serica is financial services for Cannabis.
15% yearly growth rate for that CBD industrial
38% weekly for these guys
cannabusiness never looked so, financial.

ROSS ! yes. the co-founders are so smugged out, swag souace
how old are these guys? let's go replace lawyers together
i never seen such swig warmed flunky side mouth grins

mergh... started to get too many presentations in a row
how god damn mortal I am. we all are? 
why the fuck born into this serious ass world
Tesorio, I'm sorry I missed you.

fuck yeah. "Transcend Lighting" a new LED grow light entrant
3.6B projected 2020 LED market size in US
An HPS grow in Saskatchewan could be making twice as much
with cheaper LED electric power from Transcend

ok these gig ups are merciful short.


the more I think about it, maybe Kendrick was right when he said
"When it's all said and done, Dr. Dre will go down as the best ever to do it"
or maybe. it's because I saw the NWA movie, or maybe Kendrick was right when he said:
"I'm MAD! but I ain't stressing"

the presentation gives me pause. space, or comma.
buttons advancing as do we X O triangle, KEY
all while chilling in the corner is the esc
i guess that shets why what makes me
the daddylonglegs with long webs, 3z.

LUNA, the smart mattress cover. "Nest for your bed"
should still be called Nest. does it repel mosquitoes? 
they fucking revenged on me last night
were they pissed about Friday, when I killed 5.

A nasal voice, a strong hand. TetraScience
oops. I'm taking the conversation to Wen's chat box
telling her weirdly about "Or as I dreamed it last night, ‘lilu'"

focus. focus evan. GrowSumo, is that logo not
racist-or-hilarious enough to get your attention
two out of four co-founders are built for it, strong neck
theres a type of meta level growth happening but for what

Klarisimo!!! I'm already saying it in my head.
eww... this 3D model of the body is disgustingly real
subcutaneous vs. visceral fat? these things exist
now we have the "Google street view" of subcutaneous fat.

xfers is solving what feels like a really f'ed up problem
people are paying IN CASH for online buys???
this is for Southeast Asia, a land where banks don't have API's
this brand name is unstoppably good. "xfers" 1.8M processed so far

beaming co-founder of GiveCampus. 
revolutionizing education fundraising
bringing watsi to the developed world
"developed" we shake it like a polaroid picture. 

boom boom boom 

shit. I'm missing Hickory
it's an 8B thing
to you know
do what you

Drone delivery service, made real, by a quick witting chap
Flirtey. Working? Kitty hawk moment in the history of the industry
yeah last slide "now is the time"
... "Drone Mcdonalds" says wen

This coffee pitch guy is making me really want coffee
while "real work" looms overhead in slack chats popping
I'm going to hit this guy up during the next break
and ask him to pop me on a pod of coffee.

hemophilia app
er, micro. something
The way he is talking about it, I think there's something real behind this
multi-miliioon dollar contracts on the way, big users. microhealth

LEADA, brian says "how is everyone doing" that's nice
he's also already working with us and walked by while I was 
having my lucid nap. funny things these lives.
they work with Zenefits and have saved them $75k.mo by someone's reckoning

Jeremy Cai, is the bottom of the stage guy,
for a cool new app Onboard eye kwai? 
purple is the pigment all the more kawaii
the data on hourly workers is highly valuable, you could have said... lyfted

all the fuckin' shit I typed in
drop capital it's piped in
back of my throat coat on this white lightning
crash with the Simba, lion king

ooh it's the guy who's robot made me a sandwich. 
Teebot always failed at that task. 
in fact, this shit can make 300 sandwiches per hour.
I like the idea of this. It's actually really delicious, I just ate one.

911 services... FOR $30 million a year already.
from an elite team ... takes?
nursing homes ... best start up in the batch?
"Ive fallen and I can't get up" - saver of 2(million) lives.

Qasar announces the end of day one, so I guess we are nearly halfway there. off the record

here's a little software XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
that gives you data on what the fuck happens
between that conversion - and not converting. 
this feels dangerously much like something that will get caught in between waves


Day 2... we got a couple more to get through
Lugg will come through
uber for moves, lyft for boobs
I'd say that's a pretty value add service

gigster has an icon that looks like ico. 
I'd say that's tweeter neetles. 
there anything better? "we are the world's engineering department"
a lot of little ghosts under the hood. Founder of Mafia Wars? zynga royalty

Dhaka is sounding like an interesting market
their 7000 sqft facilities they have 2 built already
cost $250k to build and staff. pays back in a year
The amazon (strikethrough)fresh( / ) of bangladesh

"HER" wow. helping women connect with each other
this pitch is unstoppable - 80,000 weekly users
Lesibian/BI/Queer women talk more online than any other audience
there's another chapter to this. it's not just for Queer women. WE are HER.

Jopwell! Diversity has become a pipeline problem.
now a network connects black, hispanic, or native american
a big number is $346k, but what exactly is that
or over a $9 billion dollar industry to make the workforce more colorful.

The co-founder at this company is wearing a sick t-shirt
fully encoded, in symbols. Fonticons.
how do they make money?
sort of.

ok source DNA. oooh. App store rejection on your DNA source code
so burn. so diolysergic. Or I heard that RNA is actually the cooler "NA" these days
they can detect issues in apps. almost like a mesopotamian Ashipu
massmassu, pouring over a sacred tome. Goat eyeball, milk of taro. 

red carpet is a thing taking over India, order for in store pickup.
great photo of a market in India. the original conversion funnel
people opt in to be converted, it's a mall of a world.
everything's for sale motherf*cker! what are YOU buying?

they've grown 6x in the last 2, 3 or 4 months, depending on which slide

gravitational? the boss from Dilbert? 
what about the dog from. 
tired of animal shit. man
dogs shitting, cats puking, excreting bullshit. this place needs work.

the guy from interviewed has a classic look, I think because he was on a panel
I've taken notes on this dude before.
pull up in my company. the hell are ya'll not bumpin' me?
makes me wonder how good I even am at my job now. or what my job really is.

I'm willing to try this product. I'm trying to be ready to die
but is there an app for that? there is now.
I could create my will right now. and I love that idea
say it takes 8 minutes to fill out. 1 out of 4 people landing on homepage create

only life can pay for death
but what can death pay for? about $130M or users according to these guys

watch videos of skilled programmers, watch the tricks
this is an impressive concept.
calling out Twitch - but this is not just a game, these are real skills
and the audience murmurs in agreement

looking forward to unleaching so chaucid lines on all you prospective investors
and barrel chesters
leeking to my laif n see what festers!
dank chrill green
between swarms weave charms to set screens
a net beams over treble and almost edible
here's my little opposistic lapse into chmance parable.


Bao chicka wow wow..... bunnanana yeah yeah
bun bunnnanana here we are.
nick cort with the sport cort looking so star.

The dudes are cloudstitch
and they'll tell you what's up. 
we had em all. i dunno condomed up I guess
and now for.

VIVE, with a font like HER, but where more is sold
and less is bold. it's a blowout
not a sale, but a hairdo treatment for women
and in the future, all kinda good do's

Afrostream is a netflix for black people,
but not in the US. Europe, Africa, and SudAm
Hollywood makes good black content, but it's stuck in the US
they actually charged $100k already. love that

Convox is taking on a gorilla in Heroku, but.
a heroku alternative would be pretty great, with better uptime?
from the guys who USED TO WORK at heroku
talk about the heroku guys worst nightmare. Karma's a bitch huh.

they don't have a free tier, so better for biz?
the up and to right is aight,
but looking the numbers on the left
are still a little bit light

silence for. L. taLia, in some better outfit than anyone else up there
what condoms do women want? those are the ones men want
does unprotected still feel better post karma?
"making condoms is cheaper than printing money"

back. missed one or two

my name is Harj, I used to be a partner
now im pitching TripleByte cause we stay hungry.
the co-founders are post exit. 
they know the space.

im a fire faced
I could never 

GEMnote style impeccable
I think she's right there in our Teespring SWAG space
no, spend money on shit that actually makes a difference.
the same thing the Rap Genius shirts said at my alumni demo day: "FUCK SWAG"

roomblocker has your hurt on locker. knits on these hits
finding fitness in a foot soccer
2.35 B room nights. how many quiet time lovers.
Is this competitive with nextravel?

don't be a drag
im the blood on the rag
im the sutter home and sublter
with fluttering fragments

scoping out 350M calls per year
now or then? I can't really tell. oh it's speculative
more of a scope you in techno tomorrow solution
get an expert on AR

I'm high on caffeine, shrooms and weed
I got it from a pen so it can't be seen
I'm scoping out some start ups tryna lobby for seed
hardly in my element but fuck it I'm clean.

wow, he looks exactly like the guy in the shirt on the picture
thanks, MADEright. looks like you made it right on time.
"Just take a look around you. Everybody is wearing clothes!"
I want to create a cool hack space called "Hack Space"

breakout room. this looks cool. fun.
the better webinar. let's redefine the webinar.
reminds me of that scene in the NWA movie
Eric pulls a silenced assault rifle in the hotel

yeah. Paribus
on the cusp of I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
brain drifting off to a nother location.
wen can I be out there with "the people"

sebastian, used to be a pro e-sports commentator
I feel like I have heard his voice before.
notes is starting to bug out. making a lot of copies of this file
e-sports has some promise. work with instant.

the salon industry needs a makeover. NEW FILE


because the old file could not handle it
not even one little bit and we need 
A FRESH start.

StyleBee brings the services on demand. Will
they hook me up a haircut?
fly like that.

see me at the end of this? swag is so tangible
find a new cadence three lines
make it manageable.

sywork needs a hykoo looking just lykoo
twitch for creators, are we hitting a niche?
100 M digital artists, all lift off, for the J, make it swish?

you might think it's funny
but it's actually, an entire fucking industry. on BitMovin

ooh it just loaded! they are making $30k a month right now.

founder and CEO of snipe.
share. somehow this makes me want to fire myself
I'm junk.

my ex girlfriend appears to me in dreams, morphing
an echo reminds me what we had
rubs me glad. 
nuts! me sad.

New story is one of the non profits. well thanks. this is converting tent slums
I start my morning off with fire and much purpose
Monday is my gun day. blazing ace - service.

(picktrace) the OS for farms, that run circles around my head.
or as I've been wanting to say for a while:

scent/send bird allows women to date perfumes before marrying them
or the other question: would you marry someone
who wears perfume?

the pitch is oddly compelling. they are profitable. there's money in smelling good

I'm stripe like
John C. Ollision
the pitch I've been polishin' 
will leave em all demolished
all the small ish I'm swallowin'
drinking it down
if there's another number tuber
then it's snuck in the ground.


now I'm watching on the TV from the back row
can't tell you how much better this is. 
I think all of demo day should move in this direction
and incorporate HDR. can you do all that securely? 

qasar: "It's time to sit down... LUCAS!"

there will be refreshments after
and isn't that nice.

social features make better games. pre-packaged software solution
Heroic labs. you could be my he ro
instant camera.

marble maybelline, data we stream. 
and how the hell you play with playdough
cretins. credo is based on plato 
there's philosophy here.

the blue crew is the new crew, back with a drippy dick
or was that just me? 
wish I was reborn just a damn slight less lusty!

there's some video thing going on, like a road trip
but more of a trippy time.
surfing, smurfing. I'm finally barfing.

oooh. Markhor. they have those great shoes.
craftsman only makes $5 on a $1000 Gucci shoe
they can get these great shoes to me for $250.

when you've met someone before, you like them more.
the circumstances of the first meeting don't matter.

or do they?

or are they literally everything. 

the tickets are what matter
having the right tickets
at the right time.

sorry I can't keep writing the poem now.
I'm Bizzy.this matters. Increases the revenue on Shopify stores
internet marketing in the box? it feels so right. must speak with her after. 

can't keep up with demand?
can't keep up with ‘the man'?
times are tough, but here's MIMIR

copy cats are detected. grades are effected
sensitive bits all protected. hella encryptid. 
poly Mantid? expand on that.

starting this Spring
and then 
blow fans on that.

we are getting closer to... the noisy end of all things
lost lipids, crime on my like ID?/

D. D. 21K5TEEN 
why see
before you C mee.

but then I'm plagued by a dream of Lu
that won't let all the you-ness through
so I'm depraved of a dream for two
the path paved, b'th seam weaved through.
it's the same games that make newness new
the light waves that make blueness brew.

with my plate half full half empty, I prop up Plate IQ
and if told you that
this meal ain't HAPPY, large chains like McD's - they knew

delITeful there eden
you're towards the end. I'd say by now.
we've had it. a jello lover. I'll take more. but I'm not begging for it.

so, I guess I'm fuckin' south bay royalty.
had to conquer Oakland just to
prove my loyalty.

app canary in a coal mind
underground my mole mine
these hackers are for real, with no known joke among them.

but see, we have Plate joy here, tryna flip my grin
from a fat face frown to a single chin. 
the key word here is "default" which is a word with similar letters to: Feudal (t)

meanwhile, they are switching out the radiator on my new old 300zx

instawork bold slide deck here
DOS blue, white text, this feels, not technically advanced.
or maybe pre-apple. if that was an era.

ready and willing 
spaghetti I'm killing
confetti is swiveling
up in the air.
is all of your Karma and fear of big Pharma
confident cannabis

fresh out the lab.
with testing, de-pesting, and active or resting
and ratings and rhizomes and
danker the treasure
is SaaSable measured in raquetball
put that on my tab.

put multiple glasses 'bernet on my tab
unthinkable that they would leverage the lad.
the cad, 
the mark,
the tenders at Sparc.
they vaulted from Stanford
we panzer commandered
and that's where the fuck that we landed with that!!!

Serious Sam
with the shorts that go 


you have nothing
you have no one
you are nothing
you are no one

you are a meditative breath
a blade of grass
a drop of wind

you have nobody
you have nothing
you are nobody
you are nothing

you are a lull
a staring off
an unfinished list

you have
you have
you are
you are

you are 
the stillness 
waiting to be song

How to Fly in Dreams

Flying in dreams is a very rewarding experience. Short of hang gliding or sky diving it's the only way for a normal person to have the experience of taking flight. It can be beautiful, relaxing, meditative, exhilarating - it can really feel like you are flying.

What I've also found is that it's often possible to realize that flight is possible in dreams short of actual lucid dreaming. In other words you may not realize you are dreaming but still realize that you can fly and enact it. That said it's helpful to train your flight abilities in lucid dreams because you can put that extra intentionality into your flight technique that then informs future lucid and non-lucid flight. 

So let's say you are dreaming and you want to fly. One thing that can quickly overwhelm the experience is the question of where you are flying to. You can focus on a particular point in your vision and imagine pulling yourself towards it. You may move in the direction but the feeling of flight is not necessarily there, especially if you keep thinking about what you are going to see over the horizon or around the bend.

Another approach would be to focus on pushing yourself along through the air. Putting the intentionality into the motion vs the destination. This "push" approach can sometimes work but often doesn't allow the mental space to figure out direction and feels belabored.

Satisfying flight is more about the sensation of flowing through the air and a sense of controlling the direction in which you travel. What I've found is the best path to this experience is to use an object similar to the sail on a boat. Imagine if you were as light as a feather and holding a large flat object to catch the wind. You'd be flying around and able to control your direction by turning and positioning your "sail". 

In summary my experiences with flying indicate that a superman approach (pushing yourself forward through the air by force of will) and a spiderman approach (pulling yourself towards a fixed point in the distance) are less effective than more of a Mary Poppins approach (grab the nearest umbrella and let yourself be pulled along by the wind).

YC W15 Demo Day - The Epic Poem

or “Y is She Leaving Me”
and “Y is She Still Here”

higherme could be another name for meadow
“okcupid for hourly jobs”
how about hourly okcupid, ok with you cupid?
40% weekly growth is… fake?

nomiku, as seen in birthday boy garry tan’s FB feed
cool device? gastronomy for novices?
same trajectory as microwave, late night TV dinner
demandingly sous vide, barking orders at ya.

holy shit, these cofounders are twins. they look the same
distraction - makes for easier rejection
let’s help these candidates, make the most of em.
ok, a network FX for hiring, something worth it

Cleany. CccKCck Cleannnnnleee bwah bwahhh bwawmm
good growth curve, with some numbers to back
ex israeli army dudes though, funny but scary.
shit man, it seems like they could pull this off

messaging automation, funnel conjunction
what’s the company? outbound
the up and to the right ain’t right
but uhm. yeah we could use it, if it worked.

custom framing, 2B in the US, are we ready to call that small?
are we ready for a useful company, with nice creative
ouch, coming off evil on the shut downs in small towns

priyaiyaiyai priime, featured as best new app. 
garry posted that.
got a crack team kid, kickin it up 90k installs
already best app in the apple store

Kuhcoon, I know this dude, ad campaigns
The logo looks like a butt, dude is a little nervous
the market is frickin’ huge, that’s my TS money
“if we optimize every dollar on the market”

VRban, these guys, crazy headsets
good pitch for VR replacing shit like fake apple stores
the opp is that poppin? architects want VR now
profitable in april that’s a big wish, lovin’ it

whoa, pigeon guy gets us to laugh after his 5 yr prison stint
talking in terms of quarterly growth, but it matters
saving people money to connect with the caged youth
what a cool opp wishin’ them well.

treeline, show some good honey and im gonna make a beeline
sails, is like rails for JS. sounds good
smart guy, platform, what, here and there
github luv

how are these guys, and why did it dip during christmas?
trying to be beat github, dangerous space
well, those guys do move fast, omniref
the name is strange, the game will change

gitlab. me wanna flit and hit that dab
sorry homies but the game ain’t fair. 
not gonna try to get this.  feature creeps. 
they make money, wear cool purple shurtz

Team Note. hong kong guys, making real dough
150k emps as users, plus profit, 180% mom-y
still trying to get the product, but who cares?
all these fools are one win deep.

you are spoiling it with those orangish pink hoodies
coral? it goes weird with the YC orange
working corporate with BnB n others
making some small time loot on gifts

a smart guy with a lock on a strange market. clinical
"metric wire is helping clinical trials run faster”
he’s out of Waterloo

GimmeTap! "We’re the tom’s shoe’s of water bottles"
honest about the good they are doing, clever
free water refills if you have the bottle wow
great speaker, pitching enterprise sales wins

Chariot… that bus
don’t ride public transit, those old asian ladies crowding
onto, that bus
my employees were all checking if they could use it

Democrazy OS. I been wondering what they do
30 governments around the world have implemented
philanthropic seed round, who’s in?
we are - for $50k : P

cloud streaming, no dreaming
paperspace is smooth stream virtual
seems like there’s potential
sometimes potential is just potential.


eSuitcase  i want one
called bluesmart
they made 2.5milli
“comefly with us”

we teach
hire their own dogfood

booktrope these guys don’t have the typical YC look
the founders could be a band of highschool english teachers
ivy league profs in another life perhaps
indulutionizing the publishing revistry.

solar city is operational in mexico - like that.
immediately going after india, brazil, and china is ballsy
oh shit it’s actually called bright
why was that not made clear

make money playing games by betting on yourself? 
casual gamers can’t make money, only pro’s
if it’s legal, it’s straight money - he read my mind
“Kickback”, it’s legal. “kickback is coming on all of them” lol

readme? wow what a name how did they get it. URL?
that brand is so damn frosty
every API will run on readme
suddenly, the room is filled with sunlight. beautiful

“Hi I’m Scott Clark, a serious mother fucker”
SigOpt will optimize the shit out of your shit
“what optimizely did for A/B testing, we’re going to do… 
for everything!”

Raven tech, building voice OS
yeah, it still kinda sucks on my android so yea
product demo, show how it’s not Siri
cool, but where will the distro come from.

worklife man, I feel like I have two much of bewth
make meeting work better homie.
automate meeting best practices, so you have to do it
“growth is build into the product”

shift, messaging app for “shift workers”
excuse me for being a douchy tech guy, I don’t know what that is
another burst of sun, it quickly fades
the MOM is on the MAU’s, I need to see the 

[[[is it snowing outside? hella shit is blowing in the air by that redwood tree]]]

Sirum, helping peope with medicines, saving it
the name is so standard, it brings me down
our medical industry is leaking $300B a year? 
medicine donations are the name of the game!

Frazer and Chris are on the TaskPipe, connecting SaaS
mind wandering to dark places… those dreams
what is lucy getting into? what am I getting out of
there’s a terrifying cloudy sky.

cinder… completely unrelated to Tinder, if you can believe it
this is a sicker foreman grill.
temperature control is precise. It’s like my convection shit.
a little war between these fools and nomiku? haha.

did you know there are 8M “higher income, food loving Americans”? 

A for profit making software for non profits - the “Give Effect”
small? nah, non-profits are getting $360 B a year buddy
“one software to rule them all”
can they sign the big names? hold them, make it meaningful?

moltin lava. there’s a dude with some hair
moltin oh shit, it could be a teespring competitor
I’m scared
no, not scared.

Detroit water project. we have contributed
they make donations go direct to the water charity
water bills indicate other problems
how about water arbitrage? we could use some out here

I . O is the thing - it’s AI, it’s Russian, it’s Luka
Cool text chat with Luka to reserve a table
I wanna give this a shot - i might need it for a date haha
“Luka is already better than Siri”

smartspot doing some gym work
keep going on those reps
need more variation in your tone here broth
CTO doesn’t look like a user

$50B data analytics market
pachyderm wit the elefant.
seems like it will take off 
but not in a way I’ll understand

Lol.. Bagaveev guy does crazy shit
hard to get your sattellite to space these days
“the whole world is launching 12 rockets a year, we will launch 50”


PAKIBLE mr. has a twisted stache
775k unit order by soylent. 
hope the packaging is less ghetto now
and somehow environmental… Jobzle branding.

PopPays. still limit on Instagram
Get @paulOctavius 
omg, scary mcdonalds add
better way to advertise. $135k in a month on hi return

I’m just clinging in here
mind drifting back to the garden.

email optimization
30% DAU growth per day, in the low k’s
these late kicks come slow and soft.

Oliver gets the Sun, color coordinated in Pomello green
how are we not on the customer list? I tried to recommend them
… an apology note sent
will we sign with pomello this eve?

I’m out… the VAN hawk guys pull me back in with a amazing looking bicycle
want that thing so bad.
will pay cash

“Magic is Uber for everybody”

wow, now it’s Trackin
focus is fading, a light glaze sets in
even the coffee can’t save me now.
it’s time for a basketball break.

mashgin guys signed a $50M/mo LOI
would instantly make them bigger than TS
wow guys, cool product
no bar codes, this really feels like the future

hard act to follow but here comes pushmark
they lifted the sames of California limited
how does this work?
would it work for me? - eCommerce marketing

DEMO DAY… here comes a copter.
perceptive labs comes up with the quad
eyes for my flybot
cool stuff


[redacted section]
So how secure is XXXXXXX?
I’m gonna guess the answer is “pretty fuckin’”
“the problem is, hackers kee4p changing their patterns”
“by learning what it means to be human…”

__________________day2(not really)

dunnanana how did Jobzle get into YC? CampusJob
they have 100k+ users and 10k more per week
52 hrs to get a job filled
it’s better than Jobzle, maybe even bester, the best.

transcriptic robotic cloud majigery thing
i dunno man
I’m only so technical
a humble man really

flat monthly pricing
domestic transaction, wires are free
i needed this when I got my mortgage
seed stage banking for smubs

da big pill
kevin hale is intent on the quality of the batch, Cowell 
Justin K. celeb status, swanky Abdul
ignoredly, the show goes on

focus is becoming a room wide issue. too much for any reasonable 
mind to consume.

and… we just cured Ebola for .2 nanoseconds of processing time.

Nextravel repping Zenefits. come on man
my butt cheeks hurt from the implied spanking.
Senefits of me to china, europe, or shin ja pwa
“we are the future of corporate travel, thank you"

can i say this? the ceo is signing me on

Peggie Mango from SparkGifts.
gift me a stock? hell yeah.
now, they are implementing a fractional share
it’s good concept.

…this is me, esc
reporting to you live from
YC , A.D.D.
dub two thousand fifteen
hockey sticks split screens
of legitimate green

the mid game
yes, we are fucking with you.
come join with us
and rule the world

gradberry will help me find an engineer

eBrandValue, we blew them off on email
better than nielsen, I can believe that.
I have a little bit of root beer left in my can

a guy with a fake leg, it cost $23k
I would not think he had a fake leg, it’s kinda badass
this is some next level 3d printed zombie crap
but you just can’t argue with that water leg

Willis wit the tech list.
how bout this dr. chrono guy next to me
he runs the largest tech meetup in asia.
probably not a bad guy to know

rescue forensics. it’s real, it saves babies
help law enforcement dig into that ugly side of CL
FBI, LAPD already signed up
a sting man’s silver lining to the dark web

finally, meadow is here! We get cheers around the room. only co.
“You push a button, you get marijuana”
user growth is slow and steady, they don’t touch the nug
get in the business, “come stand with us on the right side of history”

Lumi guys were at TS a month ago or more. 
I like their product, pop it at the Urban O.
“teespring is a billion dollar business”
I guess we gotta go out and make that true, eh.

Another medical scheduling thing. 
i get that it’s important, but i don’t get it.
there’s more to it, residency
a billion dollar budget I’m sure.

ooh lala wine. I could use some of that right now
wine on demand, can I fuck with it yes.
hella zoomed in gif on that happy wine drinker guy is awesome
you win prizes and shit. awesome, they did $300k last month!!

diassess. not my thing. medical
maybe one day, I’ll get into the medical stuff
not the MJ. the device and scheduling
and oooh, the pills, the money in those pills.

___________________ was that 32 to go, or 37 to go?

breath sensor
breadth, mentors

razor pays
slice u in some major ways
cater to blaze


analyticsMD I see?
but through bleary eyes
an active mind, overactive in action in real time
waste of mind
space and time, low impact. somebody need to pull the mic back

thought you said Nasdaq for bongs,
but when it was bonds I lost interest, checked my pinterest
hint that I might interject an adjective unravel it
financially sound, these people are all animate

parking lot pimpin. now this I can see
if you are in an industry where a 20% increase is huge, 
are you in the right industry?
they have contracts, these guys are making paper.

omg they are called “Smarking”

but if names get you off, how’s “iMicrobes” 
wow, they are doing some real industrial level shit here tonight
as dusk’s first wind comes under the garage door
there’s good money in this microbe game, real energy level shit

oh crap I nearly lost my mind, writing at the top instead of here.
thompson was wringling in my wind. 
having watched the first half of fear and loathing last night
miracle my girl said yes to that.

tylenol comes from petroleum… whaaat?
they created a bacteria that turns sugar into acetaminophen
producing molecules with bact. awesome
$980Bn 'Specialty Chemicals’ Market (20n)

100m people each day getting dangerous infusions
let’s capitalize and sell some product
they do have a pi chart make a trilli look small
cool companies. right in the zone

let’s send more money to the farmers, direct
I agree with that
s py the frmersmoreeel

morrey eel.
im getting tense.

water revenues, we are trying to collect more
we can optimize this
get more sales
more water usage, for less water

brickslot, no cribslot. wait cribspot there we go
young men, college age really.
175 colleges they are already on, 100k rentals
25B in student rent yearly, more than I expected

last minute uber mention may not behoove these young fellows
as a guy comes on and riles UP THE CROWD
instavest gets me in on some good investor plans
this number mongering is getting rough “OVER A QUARTER TRILLION DOLLLLAS”

show me that kinda loot YC?
you gonna need about 33 of me.

or maybe one big pill poppin’ phama brand
battery acid producing bacteria?
and here’s kickpay.
and you lost me. seeing the day die in this hellish warehouse of fire orange

OL ! yes, buy a home without a real estate agent
I like the sound of this.
$5k flat fee per transaction, you keep the 3% agent fee
“Real Estate agents, are fucked” lol

this new tech for medical has my attention
Notable Labs
“Sadly, my dad passed away 3 weeks ago,
but his legacy lives on as notable labs."

Full Text Hack@Brown Opening Poem

dabbin’ and scrabble dabbling
wretch in the gut of travelling
daggering thirty thousand high
in a time javelin

Techult that we revel in
the puzzeling thing

monopoly unstopably
takes probably out of profit, see
yet here while we apparently parent for transparency
currency dribbles out of the meadow stream
down burlingame way

these lofty currents
insurance against
rogue’s island with the piracy
spyroakland city dragon’s teeth
that sink into the shining sweet
and glide into sheets…
zobie goblins
feared man killing courtships on the outerim
quixote ick floundering
this ish signs off
papi longstorf

the spiderly one.

Gateway Drug

Falling into…
and out of love
with the dapper gentleman,
just “of love”
shtick with that
“of love”

properanxiety tuned in the elderly act
smearing it on a wall

images we exposed her to
images… we exposed her too

the brooding gentleman
head in hands
heavy yogic breaths

sands over the hill, roads
crawling city ants, a beehive
density of haze, that glow that links
the internet of wings
matter under mind

muthafuckin’ muppets
a dollop of bird shit plopping down

passing endlessly
in the distance

Peter Thiel Speaks at The Olympic Club

The title of Mr. Thiel's talk was "Developing the Developed World" - perhaps an arrogant lead in when addressing a room full of older men in suits eating charred salmon filets in a gilded era ballroom of the San Francisco Olympic club. With regard to the truly under-developed and those attempting to help them, he wrote off social entrepreneurship as a "dismal failure" in which the vast majority of companies achieve merely a semblance of helping society. 

Peter Thiel is not one of those rare geniuses blessed with an optimistic outlook. His intensity of mental prowess and techno-societal clairvoyance weigh heavily on him as he quips that in an apocalypse "you don't go into outer space" commenting on the film Gravity, by which I think that he meant Interstellar (but who can blame him?) confirming the sad reality that the tech industry's greatest minds are driven to obsession over notions of doomsday preparation.

Thiel went on to deliver the most compelling case for establishing a monopoly that I've witnessed outside the weathered cardboard flaps of a Hasbro board game. It was in this thesis that he truly shone. His philosophy on entrepreneurship echoed something that I've always held dear but never been able to articulate so well: dare to be exceptional. 

He evoked images of the rat race of law school - students competing to be the best by a tiny a margin in a cruel zero sum game. The restaurant industry in San Francisco - a land of perfect competition in which achieving a profit is nearly impossible. One need not look farther than the insane price wars between Uber and Lyft to recognize how this paradigm can play out in the technology industry ($2.25 was how much I paid to get to the lunch). 

The way around the madness? Do something different enough from what's out there that there is no competition. Don't be the best player in the game - invent a new game, one in which you are the only player. In short, he proclaimed, "competition is for losers". 

"All happy companies are different" stated Thiel, riffing off of the opening lines of Anna Karenina. In fact, the best companies are those that need to redefine what they do in order not to seem like a monopoly. Google for example, frames itself as being one of many players in a "technology" space where companies like Apple and Microsoft are fierce competitors, but in reality they are completely dominant in the field of web search - a true monopoly.

When Q&A came around, Thiel was posed with a question that he himself suggested for interviews earlier in the talk: "What do you know is true that nobody agrees with you on?" Answering this with ease in a number of over-your-head inklings, and eventually moving on to talk about how he feels that the higher education is simply a sham - "a weird club with a velvet rope and a long line out front, with nobody inside." He compared colleges in the US today to the Catholic church in the 1500's. "Anyone who does not have mild Aspergers will be systematically talked out of pursuing any original idea that they conceive of." 

The question that finally stumped Thiel was the following:

"What made you think differently? Family? Education? Experience?"

After a seemingly unending series of stutter starts and "well let's see's" he landed on an answer that you could tell didn't fall into his thesis on higher education.

"There was something about running the only Conservative Libertarian publication at Stanford. It forced me to confront differing ideologies, to have the hard conversations."

Thiel's new book, Zero to One is now sitting in a gift bag on my desk.

ESC's Startup Guide

I'm not claiming to be an expert. After all I've only been on this planet for 25 years and doing "the startup thing" proper for about 5 of them. That said, I do give people advice on their startup ideas and aspirations very frequently, and I like to think that I'm generally somewhat helpful to these people. 

One thing I've noticed is that I tend to give people variations on the same advice over and over again, which lead me to the idea of creating a guide in which I try to sum up these concepts so that people can get these tips without having to actually speak with me. Still if you do want to speak with me, feel free to reach out.

Here's my general outline for what I'd like to write about:

0. When to Start

1. What Makes a Good Team

2. What Makes a Good Idea

3. Explaining Your Idea

4. Raising Money

5. Knowing When (not) to Quit

In all likelihood I'm going to touch on themes that have already been extolled upon by others. Paul Graham's essays, for example, serve as a direct or indirect source of inspiration for many of the concepts that I preach when it comes to starting a company. I'm not going to be comprehensive in ascribing credit to all the sources because i'm not in college anymore : )

0. When to Start

If you want to start a company the answer of when to start is really quite easy: now

What this does not mean is that your current idea, current team, current corporate entity, etc. are all the one that will bring you to success. I'll elaborate more on some of the signs you should look for to know whether you should stick or switch on any of these facets in later sections.

What this does mean is that if your intention is to get involved in entrepreneurship, and you've gotten as far as reading this guide, then you need to start the process of becoming an entrepreneur today. Yes, that means that you shouldn't "get a job at a big company for 2 years, and make enough money that I can do my own thing" if you can possibly avoid it, because it more than likely won't work out that way. What you should do starting today (if you haven't already) are things like:

- Learn to code

- Start hacking and iterating on your current idea

- Build something and try to get people to use it

- Don't plan for a future where you depend on someone paying you a salary to survive

- Go through the process of creating a company

- Find the people who will be your co-founder(s)

- Apply for incubators (the process of applying will force you to consolidate your ideas even if they aren't ready)

1. What Makes a Good Team

Founding team is more important than idea. Good founding teams will arrive at good ideas more frequently than good ideas will attract the appropriate founders. 

Each member needs to bring something to the table in terms of execution ability. Please don't be that start up whose founders are two non-coders that "just need a third technical cofounder" to get their idea working. I think that there's a carrying capacity of one non-technical co-founder per company that can work, but what's better is if each member of the founding team is contributing to the actual building of the product.

If you don't know how to build what you are thinking of building, then you are likely to be making assumptions about how feasible it is or what things should be built first that may not be correct. In other words you can't accurately make a cost/benefit assessment of the features of your product if you don't viscerally understand the costs. This is what's so frustrating about hearing the "all I need is an engineer" storyline of many startup attempts. 

The founding team that worked for us was this:

Walker - CEO / Idea Guy / HTML / CSS / Some JS / Photoshop / Investor Relations

Evan - CTO / Tech Guy / PHP / Some Dev Ops

So we basically had one front end dev and one back end, and our first angel investor helped us out with a lot of the nitty gritty business setup stuff. This was a perfect arrangement because it allowed us to focus on product, though we gave up a bit more control than we might have if we had had a business focused cofounder.

Another major ingredient to our success was initial failure. Our first company, Jobzle, did not take off but served as a didactic dry run for Teespring which ended up doing well. We learned that we worked well together, and a bunch of things not to do in our next company.

So yes I believe in "fail fast, fail early" and in the process of those failures, try to find the people that are willing to weather the storm with you and who have the right skills, and those will be your co-founders.

2. What Makes a Good Idea

A good idea is easier to find, but harder to identify, than a good team. The crazy thing is that nearly everyone thinks their idea is good but the vast majority of ideas are bad. In order to solve this issue I'm going to lay out a series of questions for you to ask yourself about your current idea. 

1. Do other people seem to think that your idea is a good?

If No to (1):

1a. Do they actually understand it based on the way you pitched it?

If No to (1a): 

- If they do not understand your idea because it is too complicated, you need to simplify your idea and start at (1) again.

- If they do not understand your idea because you can't get it across, review section 3 of this guide and start over.

If Yes to (1a):

- Maybe this person isn't the right person for your idea because they are too far from the use case. Find more relevant audience and start over.

- More likely, you should re-evaluate your idea if people generally don't resonate with it. 

If Yes to (1):

2. Do people use or show interest in actually using your idea?

If No to (2):

- People may pay you lip service by saying they like your idea once they understand it, but if they don't actually use it or show genuine interest in using it then you have a problem. Reconsider your idea.

If Yes to (2):

2a. Do people show interest in paying for your idea or actually pay for it?

If No to (2a):

- You may still have hope if the idea is so contagious that 100's of millions of people could use it and you can do an advertising or data play. This is an extreme long shot though that many ideas fall into, and has a near 0 chance of success. Consider re-evaluating.

- If people won't pay for it and and you can't imagine it becoming used by the masses, then it won't work.

If Yes to (2a), then you pass the easy part... whew. Now for the hard stuff:

3. Does your idea require network affects to work (i.e. would your idea add value to one user if nobody else was using it)?

If Yes to (3):

- You have just opted yourself into a chicken-egg problem. This is going to be an uphill battle. Dangerous territory.

- The only way this can work is if your users recruit one another, and this behavior is built into the fundamentals of your idea.

If No to (3):

- Phew. 

4. Does some or all of your idea replicate a technology that already exists?

If Yes to (4):

4a. Is the existing technology something people generally like?

If Yes to (4a):

- Then, please, do not attempt to rebuild it. If some component of your idea looks like Facebook, for example, then you should be thinking or building a plugin or leveraging Facebook's API, not rebuilding FB.

If No to (4a):

- There's probably a reason people haven't already switched. No offense to LinkedIn, but it's not an interface that everyone is in love with, yet people still use it. This doesn't mean that you should invent the next LinkedIn, it means that people don't have an appetite for a better LinkedIn, because if they did, it would already exist.

If No to (4):

4b. Do people use something that resembles or is similar to your idea?

If No to (4b):

- Great! You have an idea that's completely original. Actually, just kidding, if people aren't using anything that's somewhat similar to your idea, then why would they start now? Your idea is ahead of it's time and that means you should probably throw it on the back burner and go for something less idealistic.

If Yes to (4b):

- This is actually ideal! You can't create new user behaviors, people do what they do. Stick with the language of today and you'll be more successful.

5. Does your idea solve a problem people currently have, but don't have a solution for.

If No to (5):

- You probably won't get here because I'm sure everyone thinks that their idea is a yes on (5) but honestly ask yourself, if your idea is a vitamin or a painkiller (look it up). 

If Yes to (5):

- Are you sure? Is it really a problem or is this just something that would be nice to have?

- If there's one part of your idea that's a Yes to (5) and No to (4) then focus on that component of your idea. That is your idea and the thing that will take you to success, the rest should be worried about later or by other people. 

- If it truly solves a problem that many have, then it should resonate in (1) and (2). You may actually have a good idea. Congratulations.

So to review/summarize, a good idea is something that: 

- Solves a problem currently not being solved

- That people actually have

- In a way that isn't foreign to today's users

- That they are willing to pay for

- And doesn't require network effects to work out of the gate

3. Explaining Your Idea

Even the best idea will go nowhere if you don't find a way to communicate it well. In the sea of thoughts swirling through your head of implementation details, feature possibilities, and use cases, it's essential to pin down the 30-60 seconds worth of description that will immediately get across what you are trying to do, why it's special, and why it will work to everyone you talk to about what you are doing. 

Know your audience. 

a little story

here’s a little story:
I achieved start up glory
when I was twenty four
in the year twenty fourteen

always on chat, emails and calls
no white lines of code on my black wall
hanging by my neck from the wing of a plane
put an HBO show to shame

with my live game.

Could we be doing this again?

A vast and dangerous night of dreams. Flight, fancy, DMT, and mushroom symbolism. 

At home, but things take a turn. I find myself in a peaceful state. The house becomes an aquarium, im swimming around in. The colors are myriad and unearthly, rainbow reefs sprouting from every table and forgotten corner, the door hand blossoming into a beautiful vaginal jellyfish flower. I'm so enthralled, marveling and inspired by the amazing details and wondering how I got here. Dream drugs or magic?

I wanted to share it with everyone, and told the story of the aquarium dream again and again throughout the night. I was so lucidly dazzled and awed by that powerful cavern of hyper-realistic fantasy. 

Before the magical counsel I wanted to show off that I could fly. Was it the devils trick to fly? I'm soaring around and our leader seems pleased. It is a highly enjoyable type of flight, on wings and currents above a crowd.

In the wilderness I practice flying with my friends. My tool is a tiny paper circle, like what you'd get if you glued a chopstick wrapper into a ring. I find it's enough to catch the wind that buoys me into flight high above canopies of pine and alpine creeks. While I'm lifted, the ring snaps and I fall, softly catching the limbs of a tree on my way down. Turns out I don't really need a prop to fly.

It's like the aquarium thing but later, but I take what is supposed to be DMT. I'm dreaming and I know it but the effects of this ethereal dosage are palpable. So you dream on DMT. The man who I am talking to begins to splinter out into a muddled paisley of black, turquoise and deep red. The scene dissolves into dark but vibrant hues.

I keep telling everyone in the tavern/cavern about my dream exploits. There is some fighting and it's scary down there. There are some bugs in this crawlspace and I'm just trying to get away from them. A bunch of old professors want to play quarters with me, Lucy came in with one of them. They can't finish their pizza. Everyone drinks beer. Zane gives me another chunk when I tell him I dreamed that he gave me the piece I ate in the last paragraph. Eminem is dissing me. He tells me I'm on 6 people's nuts. I tell him he's on 10 million peoples nuts. 

There's nothing like it. A glowing presence. A bright light. Voices to be heard. Floating in bliss we wonder