tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:/posts escribblings 2019-03-07T18:11:39Z tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1382721 2019-03-07T18:11:39Z 2019-03-07T18:11:39Z You! Do you think you can discourage the hungry mouse from coming down here?
Do you really think you can charm the apples off a tree,
the seeds out of an apple,
the ivory cream out of a glass of milk?

Soy milk is the only guiltless indulgence.
Unlike milk milk it doesn’t come from a bulging utter.
Unlike almond milk it doesn’t enslave bees.
Soy beans are a mainstay of the American Soy/Corn Agricultural Complex.
They even put nitrogen back into the dirt where they grow.
It doesn’t have a lot of protein though.
Some people say it turns you into a girl.

Do you think you can really, really ask out a high school girl to dance?
I mean back in time of course, of course I mean
really, really go to the prom -
not just with some rando.

Here I am, guiltless, post-soy-milk,
but I had an almond croissant actually.
Dante has one circle of hell for
or in the words of Mr. Roboto
“Bezelbub has a devil set aside for me.”
or was it - “どうもありがとう.”

Heaven’s splendor == milk mixed with Splenda.
Chariot swings Sweet-n-low.
I’m not saying that God’s sugar is fake;
I’m saying he needs to use more of it.
Some butter wouldn’t hurt - it’s Ash Wednesday.
A little charred edge is a sign of a good toast.

Was about to drop a crumb for the mouse:
he scampers silently along the wall crease,
disturbing quiet blur,
almost imagined.
What is he rooting around for these
New York Mice,
bigger than a mouse should be.
How big a mouse should be?
No need to crumb encourage him here.

Do you really think?
A mouse gets less hungry by eating?
I have seen a dog scarffle up its own vomit - is this getting dicey?
Oh no! Oh god sorry I 

I wanted to end things off on a good note
but nicey doesn’t play that game
no he

third person positive 
no he.

No he doesn’t does he. No he does, he
or worth anything

mark my words:

“I’ll reassemble your stinking heap of a conglomerate.”
“I'll stow your cabin bag.”
“I’ll fish you.”
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1381890 2019-03-05T21:06:01Z 2019-03-05T21:06:01Z mango morning i was so sleepy
the dreams were good
a little kid
determined friend 
crying next to his scooter

graffiti on brick 
graffiti on brick
last train from Nostrand is an airborn A C
uptown adventure
we landed on pigs
their snouts all tickled me

i was so sleepy
cutting the mango kept thinking:
eat this mango like a heathen
but floss after

(instead of my morning banana)
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1379523 2019-02-28T06:25:10Z 2019-03-04T00:42:34Z I Shadow
	Who learned a lesson called “I love you” as 
a kid?
		Momma did, Momma said she did
			Love me-you I mean.
	Momma loved the American Baby, she gave that little 
squeaking lump its first smear of eye shadow

Baby learned how to say “I love you”
	Baby learned how to look in the mirror
		Baby learned how to say “I love you” to the mirror
apply eye shadow and now say back - “I love you more.” 

Baby grew up. strut down beauty boulevard in gleamy plats
		glanced in mirror store window - “Baby, I love you.”
mirror grew up too. all new gadgetry. mirror
		slaps eye shadow on Baby with a magic tap
	mirror turns Baby into a damn sexy puppy
			a.n.d. shows off to all Baby’s friends. 

teeth bared. I HAVE TO MOVE. I HATE LIVING HERE eyes tense wide open. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT cheek trickle shimmers gold and black flecks.
there’s gold in that river - there’s enough deep teal sprinkle shine lime lit blinding buckshot scatter glitter to cram every crack in the side walk there’s enough gold in that river to smear on the souls we come home to, too but what alchemy makes two “I love You”’s into “I love I” and “You love You”
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1378144 2019-02-25T03:18:35Z 2019-02-25T03:18:35Z sum night viper Some night viper’s chewing on his plum whisker,
rummaging in his candy satchel, 
the pants are enormous:
swift thwump of redumption.

New biosphere: this one teaming with green life.
We merched to the bank of extinction
where jammed, a new mammoth (mastodon)
rose to the tusk of DNA planter.

As I sort through my lust, mental clutter at dusk
it occurs you were right all along.
Meanwhile, I was left at expense to tap desk
with a pen whose blue ink had been drawn.
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1369029 2019-01-31T21:55:04Z 2019-01-31T21:55:05Z Waking Poem 2 what a ride
what a ride
endless dream after dreams.
dream becoming another dream
dream that never ends
halls stair wells and little doors of your imagination 
you chase the witch
she is down there she is down there

focusing on sensation proves the surest path to pleasure
pleasure is intense and realistic
in a dormitory

a blob of ink that hits the page and shatters
into one hundred colorful consciousnesses
some wobble and wane as others burst forth
the name of the game is

you are more than one
you are not alone
within you without
and within you become

oh my
oh my

these friends joined the beds with me

and were alarmed at my unending slumber
careening to the valleys of dream
at times beautiful in others
the terror was so much as to jolt me from sleep
the clamor
the building sensation of fear as suddenly im shot shot
again im shot in my own driveway
for not having any cannabis
im brought down


intense and delightful
spears and swords
mirrors on walls
who are we and where

the big house
explore my new environs
nyc out on the street
finding myself in a new scene
its newly realistic - #repainted
look what they did with the place
the magical hall ways are full of signs

i want something different
tired of the same orgiastic pulse

brought my little potted plant army here
along for the ride
they are passengers now on my dream ship

this ship only gives way to fire
and theres no horizon it cannot cross my
dream sheep
asleep in a dream within a dream

all of of us organized oddly in the beds
two here, three in that one
he kindly lets me know im exposed

little greasing of the wheels
oh no no nobody nothing compares to that 
funky splendor that one two cupcake
that here you are and yank you different
i can fall asleep easily
feeling that odd rush that teleports us back
into the dream context
that deeper rush
dreaming within a dream

i might be human
but the coffee im drinking 
came from the dream world

my hand lifts as if by a ghost
and it is moved to write a poem
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1365758 2019-01-22T05:30:10Z 2019-01-22T05:30:23Z is somebody making the pancakes crack of mine morning eye glow
my vista swings broad, alpine 
crater water sings turquosie, rose
are the pearly-green mountainslopes: i'm in bed

haunted by big kitchen mouth feeders
who is making the pancakes? 
is anyone making the pancakes?
Is somebody making. 9am the time, 9:04am

did my dust settle? snorted maybe
tear filled love eyes wiped to hide
away the aborted baby
the boxed up thought-child

nobody is making the pancakes
oh, i am. i am making the pancakes
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1364029 2019-01-16T21:16:20Z 2019-01-16T21:16:20Z waking poem 1 [01/16/19] mr. king konga line’s bringing back sexy
muddled morphibinals glance on the hew
hemingway wannabe sit by the fire with
crackling simple syr stirred in their brew

utica, tuscana, leeds, aramaic 
expedient entelop clusped mormed en shunk
looking box hand me down silver spoonanimals
shiver in boxes and glitter in skunk

i me ma’am am the mixed marble fable made son
of the ungrumbled floogs in the west
the intended recip of chermidgenly solace
the clamberry munchkin, a far from the rest

so murder my noodle my hallogen claproot
my bulb that rolls asphalt and breaks in the yard
slide up with bots that go Z in the night that
explode with delight into scarless dwarf stars
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1359938 2019-01-03T21:46:25Z 2019-01-03T21:46:25Z mirror hands dancing with angelicandor
in the jam of your door
the ledge where your mercy was pledged

dancing with sweet cherubandon
at rim of your canyon
caldera where scarabs were hewn

these were the gold bezeled beetles
whose flight above babylon
offered us quintescent views

those whose wing filament flicks
gaves us glimmers of hope
we could hopelessly choose

to chase mirage pyrimads looming
the painflower blooming
our petal welt skin

still I stand mirror hands 
clutching rose heart in the
casket we’re already in
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1359935 2019-01-03T21:43:19Z 2019-01-03T21:43:19Z Happy F'in Birthday

From the inside of the 11:00am Northeast Regional it looks warm outside. I can guarantee you that it is not, and that the further north we go, the colder it is going to get. I still haven’t quite come to terms with whatever I’ll be stepping off into in Boston.

There’s a woman named Maria that I am about to send a text message to. She lives in Boston. We met at Burning Man this summer. She was camping in the camp that hosts the “bootie black rock city” party, which happened to be next to a camp called “The Star Cats” that many of my friends camp in. Maria had a friend at the camp, a 48 year old looking guy with pink hair, strappy leather work gear, and a big exposed belly.  It was his birthday that day. The camp mates ran out into the middle of the clearing by the camp and held up balloons that read:

“Happy Fucking Birthday”

Maria organized it. She stood there and snapped the photo. It was my birthday too, and I told the pink haired man that. “It’s a blessing and a curse,” he said, “to have your birthday during the burn. It’s kind of like having your birthday on Christmas.” My mom’s birthday is on Christmas day. 

A few month after Burning Man I was walking down Ames St. in Cambridge with my bag fully packed, er route to NYC. I saw an awkwardly parked U-Haul van and a woman in black utility boots was standing on the sidewalk evaluating it’s placement.

“Hey,” I said, “I know you. We met at burning man right?”

“Oh yeah,” said Maria, “Nice to see you.”

We hugged and then had a conversation about what she was doing in Cambridge. We added each other on facebook, zero mutual friends, then I left to go get some dumplings. 

Sitting at the counter waiting for my veggie dumplings, I looked at Maria’s facebook. It was her birthday that day. I felt bad missing a chance to tell her happy birthday, especially since she had unwittingly delivered an enthusiastic birthday message on mine. 

After eating I ducked into a bank that looked like they were setting up to have some kind of party with a cake. “We just launched our new branding,” the clerk explained. The new logo updated their font from a gothic calligraphic script (think “New York Times” logo) to something a bit closer to Helvetica.

“Do you have any printer paper I could borrow?” I asked the clerk. 

I took a sharpie out of my bag, and drew a happy birthday note on the sheet of paper, then walked back to the U-Haul and stuck it behind the windshield wiper. There was something else in the windshield wiper too - a parking ticket. 

That was the last time I spoke with Maria, but I’m going to message her again right now. 

. . .

Three days later now I’m on the train again, this time facing backwards as I get hauled from Boston to Providence. Wet and nippy out. Dark.

As for things with Maria, we got drinks at the Independent in Somerville. We smiled at one another. I was a little late, she was a little later. She had spectacular hair. Two beers in I learned that she loves motorcycles and recently started dating someone who rides one. 

“We’ve been friends for a long time.”

She did connect me to the 48 year old looking guy with pink hair. It turns out that his name is Sean and he’s probably 31. We had a 10:30am call and I took it from a nook in the wall of 4th West, an MIT dorm with graffiti on the walls and sticky carpet floor. 

"I'll send you the form, fill it out and if you can make it up to Boston 3 or 4 times you can join our camp." 

tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1344570 2018-11-16T14:58:48Z 2018-11-16T14:58:48Z the forest house
the big window is high in the trees
there’s a ledge my cat can jump up.
i have all kinds of vehicles here
but my van is jumbled in with the washing machines.
some succulents thrive in the garden
others have gone to rot:
not wanting my grandmother to see the dead ones
i turn over the grainy red dirt
so they won’t show.
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1344555 2018-11-16T14:19:05Z 2018-11-18T19:21:20Z set of ones
Nov 11 is an important day for me. 11/11/11 was the day when we officially launched the Teespring company. 

I see those 6 ones as two pairs of 3. Each three is split into three ones. 

Numerology, I know, but stay with me. The smoke stacks of the Point St. power plant reflect into the chilly waters of the Providence river by its mouth at Fox Point. 

What I love about maps is that if you zoom out far enough you can zoom back in anywhere.

Sitting on the 72nd st. entrance to Central Park watching the pedicab drivers pick targets for their peddling. Groups of two or more including at least one woman are prime. Extra attention given if the women are older, or larger, or if there’s a kid. It’s $4.99 per minute to ride around the park. A tri-generational squad of Argentinian women acquiesce after some cross-linguistic squabbling.

When we launched the company on 11/11/11 we didn’t know how big things were going to get, or how messy or how sometimes bad. In fact that was before I had even met L yet.

Ok, that’s a lie, I had met L, sold her an eighth and rolled on the grass in her laughter yoga class before either of us graduated. And I had met her too. 

11/11/11 was after a summer when I had been working myself into a sad desperate Providence fall - the first I’d had out of love in some time. Kind of like me now, single in autumn for the first time in a long time. 

I was coming off a bender that involved late nights coding, getting high in a house with 5 other guys, methylone salt baths. 

Erin says I need to read poetry to be a good poet. Sigh. I never read enough. I do love reading - absorbing an author’s style and substance to gluttony to vomit out my own glewpy essential take. But I just don't do it very much.

I watched a play last night about Walt Whitman. My father loves Walt Whitman. He gave me a copy of Leaves of Grass. The play shows you how Song of Myself has a lot of moving parts. Under your boot soles. Trippers and askers surround me. As good belongs to you. 

Sticking with me? 

The company I launched on 11/11/11 would go on to achieve a valuation of close to one billion dollars. We would have 500 employees, raise and spend tens of millions. 

Capitalismy lust. I wanted become someone worth loving and someone interesting. Money was a path to that.

I’m no longer among the most successful people I know. There was a moment though. There was a moment when I thought I would near own the world.

I spent this last week holed up with a boy-haired mistress: lip trembling between her sex teeth, fastened to the crystal vortex of narrow Ukrainian eyes in shades of blue grey green. 

I’m trying to do something intentionally kind every day. Because a woman who handed me a pair of handcrafted pipe cleaner bunny ears in Hell’s Kitchen told me that was what she expected in return for the adornment. One act of intentional kindness, every day, for a year. I believe that was on October 9th. 

I breathed a sigh of relief when she said it could be to myself, that it could be as simple as a smile, that it could be being easy on myself for forgetting to do a kind thing some days. 

Still I worried. Thinking about anything every day for a year. Is that a lot? How many thoughts in a day? How many days in a life? It's actually stressing me out right now. 

Shoes walk past me on the chilly entrance to Strawberry Fields and someone says, “he was shot outside of that building” pointing to the Dakota.

Last night my heart thumped as my phone rang over and over and over again at 5:25am. “No Caller ID”. Finally I nervously accepted the call. A voice on the other end said “I’m looking for five six zero seven nine two imma kill you you b**** ass n***** six zero eight.”

One... one. One... Is this real? Dream check? Yeah, no, this is real.

tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1332676 2018-10-15T21:13:35Z 2018-10-15T21:13:35Z Dance Dance Revolutionaries

“There’s nothing here.”

That's my first thought upon arriving at 179 Russell St.

It's a church. A small older man with a balding head, a funny little moustache and a back pack that looked like it weighs half as much as he does is slouched on the church steps. That's it.

I came here for a dance party. I say “hey there” to the man, though it seems like a stretch that this little old guy in a tucked pale orange plaid and khakis would know anything about a dance party.

The man looks up, grunts, and looks back down. It’s a big, dark church across from a park and nobody is around.

About to give up, I figure the event must have been cancelled or something, and start walking back towards Williamsburg. Then I notice a door, a side door into the church with the numbers 179 above it. It’s worth a shot.  If there’s any chance of a dance party, I want to find it. 

I open the door and it’s dead quiet. There’s a stair case going down to a door. I walk through it into a very large room. Extremely brightly lit, white fluorescents casting an uncomfortable glow over the whole room. And there’s a dude in there - just one guy - but as soon as I see him I know that this is somehow where I meant to come. He’s a large asian man with a gelled up hairstyle and plenty of tattoos. 

“You know what this is, right?” he asks me.

“Um yeah, I read about it in the email newsletter. Dancing in the dark right? Dance party with no light?”

“Yep that’s it. And I’m the DJ. Just a couple rules. No cell phones, no break dancing, and most importantly - no watching.”

“Can I help you set up?” I offer. He’s just starting to pull a large set of speakers out of closet. The room isn’t set up at all. 

“No, no. I’m good”

So I sit down on a piano bench and watch as he sets up. The event is supposed to start at 8:30 and it’s already 8:35. I start to feel bad for this guy, he’s doing all this work to set up a dark dance party and it looks like he’s going to be DJing to an invisible audience of one. Thumbing $5 I brought for the suggested donation I start to wonder if a $20 pity donation would actually be more appropriate. 

Finally someone comes in. Actually a nice looking young woman in yoga pants. But she just says “I’m looking for my friend” who apparently isn’t me, and then turns around and leaves. 

A few more minutes tick by and the DJ is frantically setting up fans, switching out light bulbs, and plugging in his sound system. As I watch the door, I'm shocked to see the older guy from the church steps walking in. He places his massive back pack against a wall and takes a place on the dance floor. 

The lights go off. The DJ presses play. 

Madonna - "Hung Up"

I start moving, trying to truly bring myself into the present, to be one with the darkness, to channel energy like a tai-chi flow master. I start grooving, moving, taking up space, bouncing around, hopping, waving my arms madly, hips to the left, hips to the right. 

The DJ puts on something funky, something jazzy and latin, with a nice thumpy beat. I’m in salsa mode, back and forth hands to the side hands up, swinging down and around. 

When the song goes quiet. I hear applause. Gentle, and measured, but significant. I turn around to see the swaying, bouncing silhouettes of several dozen people. The place is packed, and every single person you can barely make out is shaking, gyrating, skipping across the floor to the rhythm.

I realize I’m violating the “no looking” rule and get back to my dancing. By the time they finish with some ballet inducing melodies and the punky ska of Le Tigre’s “Deceptacon” I’m sweaty as hell in my black Levi’s thinking “maybe this is what SoulCycle is like”.

The Violent Femmes - "Blister in the Sun"

Although I constantly feel pulled back to a sense of vanity, a wanting to be seen, I’m empowered by the fact that I’m not. Empowered to swing wider, step faster, hop harder, or sway my hips just a little more smoothly on the sexy parts. 

MC Hammer  - "Can't Touch This"

Eventually a red light on the side goes on and you can dimly make out the faces of the people. When the music stops, and the lights come back on, the hall is cleared again, just me, the DJ, and the old guy with the back pack. 

I stumble back out on the Greenpoint street. Sweaty, but happy. Another night of weird single existence rescued from mundane loneliness.



still – in dreams – across nets – in words and glances – as beautiful and eloquent as
if you want something, you need to ask for it.

tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1321507 2018-09-14T01:23:42Z 2018-09-14T01:55:00Z decision making process
hard to choose
its hard to choose
it can be ha erd to cha oose
i yit cah yun buh ee ha erd tuh oo cha oose
oose cha oo tuh erd ha?
yit cah yun buh ee ha.
buh ee yun erd ha oose?
ha oose tuh cah erd be.
yit buh ha tuh cha
it can be ha erd tuh oo cha oose
it can be h ard to ch oose
its hard to choose
hard to choose

phone a friend?
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1318504 2018-09-05T02:05:38Z 2018-09-14T01:55:26Z on burning man

to start let’s say there’s the amazing of tens of thousands of people gathering in a desert to be and appreciate art. and there’s the problem of radical inclusivity via exclusivity, of anti-consumerism via Amazon Prime frenzy. 

aside from those “of courses”, what I find lovely and special about burning man is just how barely-held-together everything is, and yet how well it all works. it’s that string of eL-wire that’s barely clinging to your fur coat, that little piece of string that’s literally the only thing holding up your art-DJ-booth, the little stuffed animal tenuously zip tied to your brake cables. 

it’s an environment so chaotic and ephemeral that any tiny upgrade in the solidity or permanence of things can be directly appreciated as a genuine accomplishment. adding another screw to the two by four that holds the giant thermos of hot-cocoa to your four wheeled art bike; tying a slightly better knot on the guy line that is constantly being tested by fifty mile an hour wind gust; packing that one extra granola bar before you begin a 16 hour long adventure. 

coming back into the default world we confront the fact that everything’s already _there_. it’s already buckled down, tied up, double-reinforced, and permanently secured: not only our structures, but our relationships, our identities, our futures. 

life on the playa challenges us to identify less with what we built around us and more with what we can bring with us. what we can bring with us physically into the middle of the desert, on our backs as we trek through black rock city, and moreover, what we can bring with us, bare and naked, as we go about interacting with other humans. what can we bring by way of dance, ability to hear and heal, spark of intellect or adventure? How can we delight and contribute without the assistance of the all-to-solid structures that hold us on the pedestals we construct for ourselves in normal life?

the playa challenges us to consider how just being can be enough to be a contributor and not a mere observer. it encourages a deeper generosity of the moment, and a willingness to reach out and make an offer, rather than only to give when asked, and only to ask when absolutely essential. 

when I went to the temple this year I was moved by the portrait of an old school burner. in the default world his name was john and on the playa he was sparkle pony. he sat there, smiling wide in a dusty arm chair in the middle of the desert with the oldschool man pavilion in the background. 

tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1314349 2018-08-23T03:04:40Z 2018-09-14T01:55:41Z Floating Note - YC S18 Demo Day Poem
a.k.a "Sam is buff"

mellow vibes and deja vu
this concussed poet brings to you:
YC summer eighteen.
Why, see the
chopped chives
sprinkled green
as jingle in the 
retina screens
of every dollar
eyed VC?
here the
black badge founders pace
trying to (not) disrupt the space
as each mutters under breath
incantations - goal: success
in the white - YC alums
shmooze for leads or twirl their thumbs
preparing to consume
a glutton’s feast of pitch and slides
with a now familiar ring
we shuffle in
begin the thing
up in front, the OG crew
seibel, garry, alexis too
celebrating dad-a-newship
babies born upon the cruise ship
as sam takes stage to 
announce PG and Jessica are here!
sam looks bold and built - stronger
push ups on the yacht deck - pale and skinny no longer

perhaps some public recreation out front the mansion
they have an asset light model for rapid pectoral expansion
keep up the growth and evolve into a titan
$10M in assets managed but is wealthfront frightened?
for gain without the cruelty and pain, try muscle mylk guys
an online trader joe’s where less animals die
and if you want to tat up that newly juiced bicep
join 8.5M others and download inkhunter to try it before you buy that.
palm oil production completely destroys the planet
C16 makes a fake to rake it in the day they ban it
also fucking up the world are right wing boomer babies
OutVote uses peer pressure to make democrats less lazy.
fintual another titan with $4m AUM
only difference is they do it in LatAm
a gnarly hook in human flesh the selling point of allotrope
instead just shock to pop a vein? I’m hoping this is all a joke
the camelot founders just burst out of college
to cash in on esports betting like DOTA and LOLage
how murdering your captain relates to optimized conversions?
ask mutiny who hope your boss gets some “personalized service”
viaoft has lonely beer cases and the environment’s back
uber pool for commercial trucking so they ride optimal packed
dreamcraft’s easy build game platform strictly for modders
likely to be the source of the next clan clash you slaughter
four growers computer vision robot plucks the ripest plums
leaving human hands freed up to provide tinder-swiping thumbs
$500B in indian credit is tracked in messy paper hard to edit
already tracking $60M of that is OKCredit
so we’re tracked but how about a coin backed, in dollars
anchor USD designed not to churn out more bitcoin ballers
but those in Africa trying to get on the Crypto boat
BuyCoins would be exchanging $1M if they just had more float
to clean up like these three beefy bro’s representing Frey
your fiat shave club for detergent on laundry day.
how much sex are you having? did you vote for trump?
like allotrope college pulse triggers a thump
hypcloud on the other hand not really that hype
more the commercial mortgage snore broker type
and Phaedra explains more meatless mylks from spero
data makes the gap between old cheese and 2.0 narrow
mac’d has a brick and mort chain that they go pitchin’
what lies beneath is a haunted house - ghost kitchens
ziffyhomes unhaunts houses - furnished condos in india
blowing up to the point where it’s surprising they’re in here
googly dataform say data is dirty
just when we thought this could not get more nerdy
CSPA wants to bring back the standardized test
so we’ll finally know just who’s the boolean-best.
half of hotel revenue is still booked offline
in flies the canary to SAAS the coal mine

flexible spending accounts lock up money
kinside does some stretching to let flow the honey
fixers don’t need TLC - they’re planned trips
with million dollar figures on the founder’s lips
too much electric power makes these lines fall down
sterblue drones will hover above cables between cities n towns 
optic brings generated crud to the masses
so automate your tests and hope that CI passes
One API to rule them all, OneGraph to align them,
One API to bring them all into pipeline, and on the sales call, sign them.
document fraud like a copycat, founders identical twins
inscribe with deep learnt compuvisiontech, determine which one to let in
goodly is a cute.  goodly sounds coo
goodly, goodle, google, boogle, boogly, woogly woo
have you seen fac-farmed chickens? stuffering, foul
seattle food tech makes a chickenish nug without fowl
training for employees a must, so do it in spanish or bust
make nearly a milli a year that’s really how ubits satisfies capitalust
nanopores, nanopores, nanopores, getchyur nanopores
and get your dynamic girth demonpores
when I sign legal docs I want klarity
an AI to highlight any contract disparities
it’s hard to stay savvy investing
maybe just pretending is the best thing
lego for big kids more modular - all based on 12 simple parts
say ‘ello to aalo, and try to find value for yuppies with smarts
iLabService founder’s named jing wang
funny it’s the same as a dame made me sing songs
regology is doing something but I could not tell you what
and for that I admit to having one head up half my butt.
tired of just living in reality? feel an urge to send it?
it started with snaps but SendReality can logical-end it
abacus investment banking on the blockchain
for managing securities the with that smart brain
feel a lack of mature products? there’s this happilabs co
in the game and growing 3 years with a milli rev or so.
emojer presents a stat that will make you “thank” / “pray” 
there are six billion emojis sent every single day
yummy vitamins from lemonbox buy on 微信
no more sketchy, US product so you know where they’ve been
prodigal its logical - it makes cents
red shirts collaborate to reclaim what’s lent
every since I hit my head not sure I’m BrainHi
or brain low and broken as I strain my eyes
maybe I can use bot md with the clean brand
chat bot to give the docs a helping hand.
I saw their logo and wondered what and comfort
turns out a much needed women’s brand for plus size shirts
numericcal, numerical, noomiracle, hysterical, hystiricool, hoostiricle
machoonavootz agoontahootz machine learning steering wheel
with serious monthly growth its big Tenderd
at this rate they’ll hardly need a lender

the qurasense q-pad puts p-blood to work
nevermore get pricked by bloodthirsty jerk
toybox open and lay hands on some comic sans
collaborate to reach chesky-esque cosmic lands
alphavantage founder was pacing window to wall before his talk
in a Harvard vest we’ll see his best if he can pitch how he walks
one upping C16 is SF17
but it’s no palm oil substitute some medical magic thing
and medically sufficient with this shit is emptor
but im no industry expert so im lost on what it’s meant for
Mr. Revenue Cat rocks the beard and hair - furry
helping SMB’s build up sales that are recurring.
in #me - a world where you’re free, to be who you want 
and have fun doing stunts, it’s the facebook for chipper Gen Z 
half of $30 shipping crate moves aren’t even needed
bluecargo provides a guide to be heaved and heeded
back in the wealth management will ajaib be a giant?
based in Indonesia so there’s different for compliance.
radix labs founders do have a smart feel
if works then it’s huge but the risks are real
synvivia designs a near unthinkable switch
to turn on/off organisms in case life is a… 
for those caught in the cycle of human trafficking it is one
annie cannons new tech opportunities gives them
it’s a concept as sweet as a kyte in the sky
can’t quite keep up with every single co but I do try.
when you need HR to lean on there’s Leena
Coca Cola hired them to replace Gabriel and Tina
ixora knows that jungle book spent 3 billion cents
to fill up mogli’s backgrounds with lush looking plants
business OpenPhone num in a app isn’t crap
but a look at digits makes me question their stats 
augmented radar imaging founder - suited and legit
already has a $1.5B pub co under his leather belt but won’t quit
animo runs in figma and photoshop
converts design to code so we don’t need to stop
special needs parents for fifteen million kids
can use exception ally to assist with their sitch.
modern treasury solves a problem that teespring knew well
payouts and transfers en masse equals hell
perhaps Sam had a dose of Cytera to grow muscular cells
product is like a server rack, where clean burger meat swells
to be heard or be hard here it’s BHRD
I’ve heard raising a B round can be v. hard
enveritas caring founder with a passionate speech that triggers
spare us child labor and savor the $6M annual revenue figure
as I burn midnight oil here comes Osh’s or something like that involves pills
offer trientine, i offer galantamine, galantadream fantasy manically
scanning seas scanwell knows well that UTI’s suck
like acid in the pee tube, but now pee on a strip and upload it to youtube
kobo360 is uber for trucking in africa and yes they
are tracking for revenues way past a lot of ya

deep space of “No Fucking Way” is momentus, but you heard it right
$420MM in LOI’s for sattelite connection layover flights.
with spate track the trends that make means become ends
it’s some data you can lean on for inventory spend.
mylk in my eyedrop - here’s skydrop
after momentus how can my eyes pop?
car window based led ad screens from Grabb-it
so you’ll help out who-knows-what co next time you cab-it.
neuromorphic hardware scales better with time
im daniel engrossed in these raindrops connecting all lines
i don’t understand curebase, try as eye might, brain fry
struggle to add lines, dot all the t’s, cross the i’s. 
“grandkids on demand” is something that we need still
papa is covered by medicare so seniors can netflix and chill 
I’m still looking for somem 100% colombian coke zero
cambridge glycoscience has 100% cambrian cake zero
64-x has done something new - i don’t get it
e coli new DNA, genetics they edit.
incentivai is a step ahead of the smart contract game
ethereum app dev (if it ever happens) will never be the same
and kunduz is coming, war drums-a-drumming
to rewire the test prep tutor app from it’s plumbing 
lightning atomic sparkswaps fly when crypto goes mainstream
wait I thought we already had 2017.
snark? i dont want no snark snark is a cloud AI can’t get no funds from me
hanging on the passengers side of advisor’s ride, trying to raise that seed.
augmented reality miru their logo is elegance
god damn I want that white tee and those denim pants
can I stay focused? no chance, federacy with bug bounty
im about to take my talents out to pershing county!
maybe bring some buttermilk packed foods on playa
an upgrade from the safeway ethnic foods aisle
I have two tickets, a van, and a vehicle pass
if I need any instructions I’ll use askMyClass
but i will have to google aps it, no AR enhanced drivers
if you bring the tinder, I’ll bring the PHIAR!
for safety positively verify ID using berbix
before donning the condom and bopping cervix
so know who you bop with, and now who to shopwith
that aligns influencer buys like the Tee-team I mobbed with.
I’ve had dreams that fake weeds will be huge
I’d be willing to slide down this luge 
I spent my springtime out in Tokyo, Inokyo
and I been spitting out these bars since the Nokia.
RealtyBits can you make my Reality Bliss?
tokenizing real estate looks a bit like this.
why not throw a little cash the way of the honeylove
a much sexier versh of spanx fits money like a glove

stephen and bead with the shelf engine, dalton claims this is last stretch
i hope that that’s true, because try as I do, by now im burnt out as a wretch
dinesafe will help ensure your gut HODL’s
after you’ve binged out and full chipotle’d
that’s the power of JetLenses is tremendous
in that I love and yet can’t comprehend it
teens are chugging hot sauce on splish
if that’s not enough enough to invest you a …
drink all you want on splish stunt then regenerate with HepaTx
liver regrowth so you next sobriety oath we won’t quote you on
penta medical has a futuristic armband
and they’ve sold down to sports team from the stands
its hard for me to pronounve this cowrywise
helps Africans save their earned salary wisely
togg lifts the fog on old fogies, in homes
scan them from afar as they shroomm in their rooms
cheerbox picks up where gemnote left off
with beautiful custom designed gift box
the plexus logo is confusing, but VR gloves I wish I was using
VR is small but, when it goes legit, gloves will stroke x cups of digital tit
what is names + faces? who’s that new guy?
company directories barely squeak by.
speaking of boobies: mammograms with higia’s eva a super smart bra
hands on delivers a scan of the givers of milk, with numbers to awe.
hussein with oxygen , hate to be without
breathe in 
breathe in 
breathe in
breathe out 
red on the top of tall poppy, ex-slack so think of Beryl
I considered color myself but the fear is that it wouldn’t wear well
good food wants to help solve the suffering of swine
people are only eating more beast flesh with time
data driven bioscience in case you we didn’t have that covered
someday we’ll be amazed with all the shit they discovered
jitx replacing EE’s with some simple software
seems powerful and founder looks like he has soft hair.
finally, off the record and off the charts are my Medinas homies
the Jesse A’s, Chloe’s and Growneys
off the record, I can’t discuss, so let’s talk about
ladels full of maple syrup 
splashed across lapels
of the brightest flashing color dipped from
a million brilliant ink wells
see the golden fish swimming through
synthetic coral seas
purple trees
to smoke 
and broke me 
down beneath my knees
these fleas
jump from ion to ion
electrons, just wanted to have sex on a scion
xB, debt free, running Windows XP
or nine five
go live
in the moment you strive

and from he with the sixty mills raised
and spent
until the day the lord of hell stop raisin
the rent
until the day I go from grape to raisin
it’s penned
for no reason but to bring season
to bland bay weather
it’s the storm that swarms 
gathering form
in bold measure

the hot spot you could never un-tether,


tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1306530 2018-07-27T22:56:37Z 2018-09-14T01:55:51Z Bog Shrimp

after point the hedge money men and off stock bitcoin billionaires became bored of their army of creepy infantile prostitutes, they decided was about time start farming bog shrimp.

“have you ever had a good bog sharmp?” Hedgeman noodled with a cluster of diamonds nestled in the breast coat lapel.

“i saw a documentary once” responded mega rich Anglo. 

“there’s nothing, not on mars, not on playa, nor between the stars, that compares to the satisfaction and plump crunch of biting into your own farmed salted bitter bog shrimp,” Hedgeman went on, “having scoured the earth and, fairly, scraped the last beans from the lower crack of the sack of hedonism, I can attest fondly of the pleasures of self-farmed bog shramps”

“i see nothing stopping us. we can use my acreage in coastal mendocino,” chortled Angloe, letting out a polite burp, “Alexa - ping my assistant and tell her to organize the marsh lands in Mendocino. 20 laborers and a 10 million dollar expense account.”

“I don’t understand,” said Alexa.

Anglo’s face reddened, “Organize the marshlands Alexa.”

“I mean, I don’t understand why you would want to do that, have you ever tried bog shrimp? They do not have a very pleasant taste.” said Alexa.

“I have it on good faith from Hedgeman here that BOG shrimp is the finest thing on fucking earth,” Anglo stammered, “I have it on PERFECTLY good faith, that a good bog shrimp, self farmed, is finer than the finest Venetian silk swaddling, the most orgiastic brothel in Amsterdam, I have paid millions if not tens of millions of dollars to find the…”

Hedgeman’s grin cracked wide smile watching sputter mouthing Anglo. 

“that’s quite enough, friend. 
there are no sharmps, 
they reek of shit. 
our lives are like a cherry’s pit - 
all spent out, nothing new to find
and to this fate i’m well resigned”


chicken parms,
and the rest of them
for you 
or of you
stark confident 
roid rager little minute pause
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1302985 2018-07-13T23:22:40Z 2018-07-13T23:22:40Z <content type="html"> <![CDATA[<div class="posthaven-post-body"><pre>Consumer fuckballoons dagger dumps widdle baybee budget busters out of a concrete phallic traunch Working it in out Working it Swami neverglum toot rats picking on the old pigment 19,18 50’s She cannut seem e termies knawing at the foundation found you! My clippish extrovort words wiggled nast light wink... Sending a pig wink your frog way. ~e </pre></div>]]> </content> <author> <name/> </author> </entry> <entry> <id>tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1299255</id> <published>2018-07-02T23:55:33Z</published> <updated>2018-07-03T06:00:38Z</updated> <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://esc.posthaven.com/how-to-do-it"/> <title>how to do it turn your mind inside out,
follow the loose thread,

once you’re behind the steering wheel again
employ a loose grip to

try it out: a little left, a little right
easy. easy.

breathe, breathe.
in, out, in, out.

as it fades, don’t panic:
ends are beginnings.

in darkness there is sound,
in sound, light,

in light, color.
color builds a world and it’s mythology

the story of the coloring book 
and the rainbow crayon.

all of it was you.
(serves one)
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1295985 2018-06-21T21:36:21Z 2018-06-21T21:36:21Z The Retreat

While I was on the retreat, I had a recurring dream in which Dr. Stephen LaBerge stood in front of a group of students lecturing on the subject of lucidity.

Our folding chairs were arranged in a circle around a big arm chair where Dr. LaBerge sat. He was always wearing an oversized draping blue hawaiin shirt and khaki shorts. 

On the wall behind him danced reds orange yellow greens over brain slice EEG MRI diagrams.

On the wall behind us there were windows. Through the windows a lawn studded with odd conifers. Their pine needles were jointed and wisp like, gathering in the grass to form a carpet of fallen foliage. The trees framed a horizon full of roaring cobalt ocean.

Sea and sunshine.

I had this dream every day I was on the retreat, usually twice a day. I was always awake in this dream.

This dream. This is dream. This is a dream. 

A grey haired man from Arizona. A Tibetan Buddhist Lama. A woman from Colorado. A dude with curly hair. A hot Australian couple. A fine and funky fellow from Cincinnati. 

There were people with me on the retreat. The people dreamed. Sometimes we shared dreams, sometimes we enjoyed them privately. 

We awoke each morning at 3:30am after about 4 hours of sleep to do a “wake back to bed practice”. You stay awake for 30 minutes and then go to sleep again, and through this practice, lucidity is much easier to achieve. 

Thank you for reading the first section of “The Retreat”. In section two, I will discuss what I learned on the retreat. Learn forward. 

I learned a few thinks on the retreat. 

I learned how Dr. Stephen LaBerge thinks: quickly, erratically, and with an unapologetic hyperassociative explosiveness. He leaves blanks for the listener to fill in, and if you miss the first one, you might miss the whole train. 

The train is bound for a fascinating destination, but it takes plenty of detours on the way. Out the windows you might see weird shit like the 1999 Cronenberg flick eXistenZ. 

If you listen to Dr. LaBerge’s unique way of expressing himself long enough your own ponderings start to take on the form of his contagious rambling brilliance. 

“So at this point, there’s a dog in the bathroom. And… Hmm…? And the proper way to execute a reality check would be…?” he looks ferociously around the room, eyes widening, hand outstretched, waiting for his response. 

Dr. LaBerge shared interesting research with us. Did you know that you can hear sounds from the outside world while in REM? That you can control the motion of your closed eyes and rate of breathing while asleep? That Galantamine taken at four in the mornign nearly doubles chances of lucid dreaming? That the 40Hz Dorsolateral Pre-frontal Cortical Hypothesis of lucid dreaming posited by Voss Et Al in 2009 is most likely bull shit?

I learned about Yoga Nidra. It’s all shivasana.

Yoga Nidra uses body scans, placing attention at each of 61 stops on a rotation that touches every energy corner of the prostrate body. This relaxing ritual invites a practitioner to flirt at the edges of the hypnogogic state.

The hypnogogic state is what happens when you are falling asleep in class and you find yourself momentarily ice skating on Jupiter before jerking your head back up to pretend to learn more math. I used to call these intrusions “study bunnies”, a word that came to me during a study bunny.

Study bunnies can be induced by laying on ones back for long enough, and if you follow them they can lead you lucidly into dreamland. To do so, lay on your back and watch the study bunnies as they hop out. Know that these bunnies are tricky, they will always try to present themselves as what they are not — actualities. Bunnies are non-actualities.

Don’t be fooled by the bunnies. Label them for what they are. 

If you lay there for long enough labelling bunnies as non-actualities, eventually a bunny will come along that will be so very convincing as an actuality that you will be able to climb into it as one. The bunny becomes a dream, your new actuality, and the old actuality, reality, fades out of focus. 

Now here you are, inside of a dream. And aware of that you followed a bunny down a rabbit hole to get here. It might be a dream where you are still in your bedroom, or classroom, or it might be that you are suddenly flying, walking, running, or gazing out the window of the Trans-Siberian express. 

This scene won’t last. These early dreams usually dissolve within a minute or so. The dissolution feels like you are being sucked up into the sky, pulled by a bungee cable, or caught in a hurricane. This inevitable transition sucks you out of your bunny-born nascent dream world into a formless void.

In the swirl of this void it will feel like you are dangerously close to waking up. You may wake up, into your bed, and your bed may or may not be physical. Most likely, if you are able to steady yourself, breathing in and out peacefully, and wait, you’ll soon be rewarded with a new dream. 

In this formless space between dreams, there is great potential. In this space, the intention, suggestion, or expectation you give yourself can become the seed of the dream to come. It’s easier to set the stage for your next experience here than when you are already immersed in a particular scene. 

You can tie the intended dream scene to the feeling in your body as you are in the void. If you feel like you are moving you can imagine being on a bicycle in a dancing metropolis. If you can feel that you are lying in bed, think of being in bed in a Scottish castle. 

“I feel like I’m speeding along in a seated position — it must be that I’m on a train. When I open my eyes — I’m on a train.”

I learned things from Karma Lama. Karma was recognized as a reincarnated spiritual leader at the age of one, and began his training at five. He taught us about mantra yoga.

Om tara e tara e ture e sura 

Monks chant together to dissolve the ego. The chant comes from the dantian, a point of the body located four fingers below the navel, inside the belly. It’s an energetic point used heavily in Qi Gong, thought to be the source of all the energy in the body.

“From the dantian looking out to all the energy in the universe,” my Qi Gong teacher would often say. 

Chanting from the wind of the dantian, you immerse yourself in the rhythm and vibration of mantra, you become the mantra. Yoga means “coming together”.  So in Mantra Yoga, you “lose yourself in the music.” 

Karma Lama explains to us that when he chants in the monastery, at some point the music and chanting all suddenly stops. During these moment, which he describes as the “space between the frames of experience” we inhale, exhale, as nobody, in emptiness - experiencing the wisdom of no self. 

As soon as the thoughts start again, the chanting begins again, thoughts become mantra. Mantra resonates as yantra, and we sit in our circle:

Om tara e tara e ture e sura
Om tara e tara e ture e sura

I learned that Galantamine works. On the fourth day of the retreat we started a three day long experiment with a substance called Galantamine. Galantamine is relatively innocuous when taken by a waking person. Doses of 24 milligrams are commonly prescribed as a daytime medication for persons with Alzheimers in China. 

When combined with the REM dreaming state however, even 8 milligrams of Galantamine have an undeniable and extremely powerful effect. For example, as you fall asleep\ you begin to feel an intense whole-body vibration sensation. Each hypnagogia is crystal clear and presented before you without a disguise. As you get closer to passing the wake/sleep barrier the vibrations become extremely intense. 

When you finally click over, you’re full blown in the middle of lucid dream without having even really tried. You just know you are dreaming - there’s been no break in the continuity of the experience from when you laid down in the waking world to here you are in a full blown dream. Side effects may include auditory hallucinations equivalent to a jackhammer on the pre-frontal cortex or standing within the mouth of a digeridoo -but it’s undeniably cool, and only occasionally terrifying. 

I was lucid dreaming the old fashioned way — without galantamine — for years, and I still rarely use it, but it’s clear that with galantamine, the chance of getting lucid is nearly absolute. For newcomers to the practice it’s a powerful way to be shown what a REM journey feels like. 

We were given either 0, 4 or 8 mg of Galantamine over the course of three nights in a double blind trial. Most of us woke up at 3:30am to take the pills and stay awake for the requisite 30 or so minutes before going back to bed to plunge into a lucid dream. 

On his first night of full dose Galantamine, Karma Lama had a dream that I will never forget.

Thank you for reading and learning. In section three, I will report some dreams that dreamers dreamed on the retreat. Dream on.

A Tibetan monk’s lucid dream

I realize I am falling asleep. In the intermediate state I sit up into a meditation position, waiting for the dream to begin. I want to stand up but I can’t. 

When the dream begins, I see my master. He has spent his whole life meditating in the himalayas. We do the practice where you merge with the master to receive a teaching. Yoga means “coming together”. This is Guru Yoga. 

As we are conversing, he gets closer to me, and the voices become light, and he lights become one. The illusion of duality melts away. Information is light.

The deceiver lets her mask down when the perceiver sets her asks down. 

A man from Arizona’s lucid dream

I’m standing in a room and I notice one of those old transistor radios. It’s playing something but I can’t quite make out the words. I pull the radio closer to me, trying to listen. 

I can’t understand any of it and realize I must be dreaming. I start waking up. I try rubbing my hands together to stay asleep, but it doesn’t work, and I wake up. I wish I knew what the voice on the radio had been saying. 

A hot Australian couple’s lucid dream


I hear an incredibly high pitched sound. Loud and high pitched. It’s almost painful. I’m certain I have taken the full dose of galantamine.


I am outside my yurt, waiting for the pills to kick in and playing my guitar. I notice Hannah is no longer in the bed, it is now Stephen LaBerge. Excitedly I jump across the room and get close to Stephen’s face and say “GOTCHA, IM DREAMING!” Stephen doesn’t respond so I ask him if we would like to have some chocolate birthday cake? His head slowly turns, I wake up. 

A dude with curly hair’s first lucid dream

The hypnogogic imagery is so vivid. I can see it growing and building right in front of my face. Before I know it I’m in a dream. It’s my first lucid dream. 

I try to conjure up a sexy girl. I yell out her name, but nobody appears. 

I want to fly so I try jumping off sticking out my arms like super man. I land on my stomach. 

A loopy poet’s lucid dreams

Act O - Submission (nightmarish)

I wake up at 3:30am and take the galantamine. Within fifteen minutes I can feel it working a sting in the pit of my gut.

I lay down on my back try to fall asleep and lucid dream but I’m too wired. The gala makes it like that. I can feel the ringing — the buzzing.

As each hypnogogia emerges it is crystal-clear for what it is. The borders of everything are defined, I’m laying awake in bed in a yurt in Hawaii, and simultaneously experiencing little hallucinations. But they don’t lead to dreams.

The closer I get to falling asleep, the more intense the vibrations become. My heart is pounding. I know something is coming. It feels as though an electric force is pulling me up and out of my body.

Then suddenly, I click over to the dream side. I’m in front of my yurt, eyes wide to darkness and surrendered to the overwhelm of the vibrations. There in front of my yurt stands a shade, a terrifying almost faceless figure, greenish against the gloom. 

The eyes of this being are fixed on me as I’m helplessly pulled closer. There is a soul behind those dim eyes and it pierces the depths of mine. I wonder if I am experiencing the border of a Guru Yoga experience as Karma described it. I wonder if that chilling figure is me, my shadow. I wonder if this is what it feels like to die. Then as I get closer, trying to examine the face of this alien presence, I ask “Dr. LaBerge?”

And again I’m awake, inside, on the bed of my yurt. Tingles run up and down my spine. The dream lasted at most 30 seconds, some of the most intense moments of my entire life.

I decide to roll onto my side, a feeling of safety, and I have some of the most vivid lucid dreams of my life. 

Act I - Experimentation

I find myself wandering around a medieval town. It feels like a place where I have been before. I know that I want to experiment with how vision works in dreams. 

As it normally is in the beginning of the dream my motion through the dream world is clumsy. A kind of wobble-walk that takes slower with each step than you’d want. There’s a need to be cautious, not to ask too much of the environment. If I turn around for example, how will my mind know what to fill in there? It could cause the whole dream to collapse. 

I examine the borders of my vision. It feels as though in fact, there’s little content in the peripheral. It’s mostly a straight-ahead view. A narrower field than in waking, upon inspection. 

I try spinning. Spinning is supposed to stabilize the dream, to ground your motor processes in your dream body and maintain the paralysis. I spin around. It works. By spinning in multiples of 360 degrees I’m able to expect to return to the same visual dream content, but with a refreshed sense of stability. 

Act II - Manifestation (sexual content)

In front of a house I realize I want to have sex. I tell myself - maybe there will be a woman inside there.

I go inside call out her name, sure enough, she steps out. She looks… a bit older than I had anticipated, and her face is not particularly stable, but regardless I decide to propose something, “we are going to shoot a porno.”

We go into the other room, and she’s a bit younger now. As we move closer to an embrace, she takes on a new appearance, the most beautiful woman I can possibly imagine. I’m astounded and also sad as I know her face will soon transform again.

There’s a feeling of pleasure, but it’s a bit uncomfortable, accompanied by a ferocious almost itchy vibration in the lower chakras. I try not to focus on the physicality of what is happening and instead on the sensation. 

As it intensifies, the scene melts away.

Act III - Elation

In the grey space I feel that I’m speeding along. I think, “I must be on a train.” I am on a train. The walls of the trains are papered in an endless collage of erotic cartoon imagery. I want people to come onto this train. The doors open and people flood in. I see some at the back. A couple at the back of the train catch my eye and I move over to make an advance on them. 

As I get closer the woman glares at me “Please stop. We aren’t just your dream characters. We are also lucid dreaming right now.” There’s a sense they might be from Wisconsin. We talk about how they are lucid too and we happen to be in the same dream. I tell them that I’m using galantamine. They explain they are using “Tholine”. 

I’m with my mutual dream friends floating on a magic carpet high above a grassy park full of people. The conversation eventually becomes musical, a jam session. I’m singing and playing guitar. The chorus of the song goes:

Here are the bandits
If you feel it put your hands up

The people in the park all start cheering and raising their arms into the air. I’m creating every note in this rock anthem. It’s extremely satisfying. I decide I’m ready to wrap up my dream, and end it on mind melting guitar solo. As I play endless layered archipeggios I feel myself floating up, up and into the sky. 

I wake up.

Later on

I’m meditating on a beach made of large smooth boulders at the base of a cliff. Waves roll in and the sky is full of fast moving fluff. On the blue horizon above roaring cobalt I see the words: THIS IS A DREAM. Again, painted in bold letters: THIS IS A DREAM.

I say the words out loud “This is a dream. This is a dream.”

This too, is a dream. 

tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1295568 2018-06-19T18:30:41Z 2018-06-19T18:30:41Z questions
now what if I scribbled
a text made you giggle
and linger around 
where the elephants sneeze?

what if the light shining
out of a pipe fell in glorious
shoals ‘tween your 
elegant knees?

what is the meaning of
“do as thou wanna do”
if all thou wanna do’s
dance in the sun?

where are the mystery 
pineapple soldiers who
deepen their dust work
in marmalade dung?
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1283789 2018-05-15T16:19:51Z 2018-05-15T17:01:21Z flower bud orchestra
     aphid huddle buds
we humanids tip leaf curl
        her as gardenchild
                came claimed earth
our are flowerbed
rose bud flutter band each
        wise bud aphid string
              whisper queen, whisper queen
        came shaked thorny branch
              spray rose, small bud
with spring bloom each we
        rose new leaf tree year pink browns
                she plays gardenchild
        as past aphid blister we
             all cheer drop bustle
weird we rose in spring as fall
        one moment it happened
        each sploding myriad
        polychrome dazzlers - each
        petro-teal multi-pink tangerine
        all guava-paste mischievous
        saccharide violet white
        burst vivid scarlet sky
            (she as gardenchild)
        truly spressed every color,
gust of once: wither’n’died
pinks browned
aphids feed
spray we
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1283787 2018-05-15T15:50:12Z 2018-05-18T00:49:35Z moonrat
he wast oft snorfhold
undwich som loony binch
guther cruft in odd slot
poinsing an igma, sooch
wert thum prig stoig oomphments:
lost in larchment, shweel,

toinsed til ye
me in,
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1283786 2018-05-15T15:47:48Z 2018-05-15T15:47:48Z America is
America is his
and an unlimited truck
her or are but not
if split America
but the split is and
if not her is and but
America. Unlimited.
Split and if or but truck,
truck was America:
America Unlimited
and are is but what.
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1283785 2018-05-15T15:46:14Z 2018-05-18T00:50:10Z this so
    this so still
so you so
      still so this
still so you you
  this still
           still so
       this so
you still.

tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1281919 2018-05-09T23:02:13Z 2018-05-09T23:02:13Z word surgeon
glistener’s listener
trying to carve bigger ears,
our whole was three halves
but those were big years,
to cry out that lash 
it’ll take some big tears.

when you get it make a wish
and put your thumb on mine,
I still see your thumbnail
when you come online,
left clutching a chord
didn’t strum on time

so - rattled from 
the clatter of 
the scalpel
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1281093 2018-05-06T19:10:27Z 2018-05-06T19:10:27Z So He
So he crawled into the
Deepest corner of the bay
Not wanting to defend her

Know he would always spend
Revere and
Never ever end
Just to not offend her

The heart render

Cheddar bender
And lender
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1281091 2018-05-06T19:08:31Z 2018-05-06T19:08:31Z Sorry i had to
Treat a
Was lunacy
I took a dabbish dank puff
Off a bunch of europeans
Chillin on mission
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1281090 2018-05-06T19:08:01Z 2018-05-15T16:25:28Z Pain and progress
Back in the bay
Shape of the back
Nape aneath a shape of the hair
Way the eyes glitter
Thumb and middle twiddle
And jitter
Its just
The way she’s there.

Turn back
Turn back
I like
A thing i like
And i just love what i lack

It take more than just
a sing a bring a back
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1270890 2018-04-10T01:27:32Z 2018-04-10T01:27:32Z tokyo morning
in my dream
i saw trees
giant ficuses

sequoia shaped

in the morning
itchy sinuses

clouds over
tag:esc.posthaven.com,2013:Post/1263959 2018-03-21T23:26:15Z 2018-03-29T17:43:41Z Rainy Gains - YC W18 Demo Day Poem
vomit on her YC sweater already
paul’s spaghetti

the year is 2018
tech poet in a room full of entrepreneurs
fingers wobble above butterfly keys
objective: 142 companies. 142 stanzas
coffee in the s’well
CBD 3:1 in the ink well

hall fills with shrill bell
up front seibel, kan, altman, manalac
hungry hundreds file in to learn about:


one health


culture robotics

and we're off

j kan jumps on stage “what up YC - I’m back”
cool as he is, 
involuntary power user
of corporate legal service
goodwins rake it in
with no innovation
the slower they are
the more hours can charge
replace harvard grads
with algorithms
its an atrium to a $158B market

necromancers nectome
yes, death itself
brain preservation
if it worked for a rabbit brain
why not you?
preseved the 86 Billion 
neurons in some poor dead guys head
sam made his first billion
by signing up for nectome

two clean shirt hair cut brits
people really use their shit
dream so supreme
i’d take a bump
of what brick fetched two benjamins

pastoral bear flag 
self driving tractor treads
john deere in the headlights

better browser
work station
will have to see
to believe to try

this so fun
great font it’s volley
they are building fun games
for your lexa and siri
yellow slides
they want to be the super cell of voice
900k users, #1 on alexa for games
but what’s the fun?
vocalizing candy crush
colors make me think of honey

sail on the OpenSea
life of pi
tigerless, cryptokittied
buy new username
assets on blockchain
confident pumping his shoulders
up and down, firm.

ligament? filament?
too zyphy to let zuckerb
own your affinity

codesign fusion
unity for all software
who uses haiku wins

for crypto-shy landlubbers Openland
t-shirt show
sf skyline
transamerica, ferry building
v-gulls wing under doodle clouds

snackpass a well trodden college co
50% of yale actively eat
its viral, it’s classic, its sweet
GMV $220k monthly - what stumps these 
is making the jump from the dorm to the streets.

amanda and mike with OSIMple
automates inspection
like bridges.
not software
physical structures
huge clients building bridges
tragedy stricken Florida needed it
and what’s more, they are Waterloo guys.

air force swagger
an addictive lisp
can’t stop listening to 
CEO of NexGenT
IT training in 4 months
techening lives

what was proven
what was lost
beauty products
at what cost
staring down the barrels of
my own dismembered trust in love
so it’s just for your skin
like hers was for mine
smelling her head during sweeter times
room with the blue green comforter
the red couch
what was proven
what was lost
building beauty
at what cost?

fletcher! of hunter2
earnest jedi master
training dev padawans 
up against hackers

doubling revenue
every month
half the price of tradition
margins fat
twice as fast
patent less pending
more pensive
calm all your senses
knowing you own

met the Algosurg
guys before demo day
now they make surgery smooth
gave me the bone when I pitched
them my newco concept.
these photos are rude!

this squad rolls 4 deep
in white hoodies
CEO founder of Groww
robinhood for india
sounds like aladin to me.

persephone biome
cures cance from the gut
no more need to eat transplanted
fruit of the butt

writing this poem is tiring
hardly past 10% done
EasyEmail writes email for you
sentence by sentence
can this poem be one?

what car do I want
what college
which wife?
fill out surveys from Delphia
it’ll printf the
rest of your life

zbioticz says
is the throb in your hung over head
bust out the probiot potions
to lessen the ouch of those
drunken charades

but if you do spew
and then flush: where it go?
biobot analyze sewage they know
how much opioid:
oxycot, vicodins, morph
humans addictidly snorf

future: VR internet
Supermedium the browser

a fading poet
marathon too soon
memora my head bobs
eyes sag
medical stuff flag sag
drag texts drop drool
sugar blood stool
text text mess message

world crisis:
too many baby photos
cute overload
we all die 
filter out only the precious ones
humanity’s chance to survive

1 in 5 female founders assaulted
only 1 in 5 report
connect victims of the same perp
whisper network of callispo
helps discretely match and catch
applause for this clever contraption
loudest out of the whole batch

tributi tax filing thing
25% week over week
turbotax for latinam

smooth selling dudes voicery
nikki their audio swag
so convicing, impressive
making alexa a hag
trained on hundreds of voices
they echo in chambers
sounding off realistic
AI has a new voice

cargo ships only take 25 crew members
after shone only 15
assume the ten will be buying cheap goods ashore
living the dream

tech tries to incept thoughts
change swayable minds
watch focus shift, sway, drift
brain control analytics

doodz in swank pinks
from playbook
let's chill?
u around?
harvard kick its
a new facebook

fire a up torch light the way
burning high exec coach fees away

there was vitame
now there’s nutrigene
genetics determine your needs
then you get customized vitamin bottles
delivered to strengthen your spleen

3 trillion emoji sent in ’17
one glance yields
you-looking emojis 
for days. mirror,
black mirror in so
many ways.

sweet swerve font
california dreamin’
little weed buzz
imma need to cop one
chug it on the go
drinks are consumable
sales boomable, high
don’t have to try, 
low dose of the indo,
now the product
a fruit soda
no blunt needed
competish defeated.

with a clean font look
block on white
follow conversations
top people
cuts some dope slack

dear brightly,
solve my skin issue
with retinoids:
this is a pain.
who has time to go
hunting for pharms
when the internet
arms us with quickening ways?

why would noma or nobu 
use  opentable-like sites
when their coveted cuisine
get well enough bites?
meitre sounds frencher
and rev-boosts etc. ergo
they catch mich-starred fish.

income share students
try pathrise with rising tones
crescendo! tech degrees!
yale, stanford, berkeley, wow!
get a load of these
marvelous institutions. what value added.
what parents pleased.
4x difference. And more.
and more.
and more.

oh, and it pays for itself.
so there’s that.

Cash flow
problem for freelancers
3 month turns take their
sweet time
TrapFi with pull request payouts
enables immediate stacking of dime.

beautiful furniture
orange wood
edges hemnes or malm

look at those curls
lus, that is “love ur self”
strong, healthy, voluminous market

can it be - the first crypto kit:
cuz coinbase and wallets get wack
when there’s tax

what dug digg in a deep hole?
no A/B on the re-D
AirShip allowsophishticated
rollout shtuff

how about these cool print
quantstamp shirts
smart contracts
are the new bomb practice
still its vulnerable
to hacky tactics
conclusion big money 
a milli a month
you really can’t deny that’s cash.

catching a glimpse of the future
I see… more efficient spending in schools
catching a glimpse of potential
educate, but profit all the while

straight like an arrow
or wobbly emoji pop out of a face
augmented insta reality
matching the industry pace

clearbrain is what I need right now
if we had this when
targeting Teespring was on
we could have sold even more

hexel is crypto for a community
crypto o’erstepping it’s bounds
every community has a currency
likes, upvotes, +1’s 
tokens are easy and usable
codeless crypto instantiate done!

with the fast chip
non stop petaflops
learn deep -
burn rubber on the digital street

jack and the beanstalk
gets fairy tale laughs
charm and autofarm
stick it to big ag

after the applause ends.. crickets
oviposts bot farm the bugs
the bug is a feature
the future is bleaker
diets of insect protein
and meat from a beaker

it may be recorded
for quality service
rarely gets analyzed
observeAI helps call centers thrive.
forests, fauna, open seas
I cling to my memories wonderous
sparkling vistas I 
saw in
my dreams.

banks are oldschool
humans work
hammering hands
grunt work

quit smoking
it’s bad for you.
smoke one, it’s fun.
QuitGenius gets you off
stogies through automagical
logics n’ ‘nologies

will answer your Q’s
in purples pinks
marvelous hues
Vaynerchuk loves it.
I used it - it’s fun,
my many “fans” now
have a place they can come
see my friends rolling
in one by one.

modern health
for mental health
which costs co’s big
lattice a client!

vicky employees
600 people at 
jack in the boxes?
is QR web payments
it’s easy
live and onboarding
gather grub data
restos will buy


the camera is tiny
the market is massive
gargantuan $500B
vena. it’s time.

sepsis - it kills us
in hospitals
top cause of death
founder stared
mom in the eye
said goodbye
now starts Patch’d
to send folks home

web hacks continue
the funnel narrows
proof that it works
live social proof
is what Teespring once
built upon now squanders
its the new fake time pressure

dapper dand dudes
hawking veriff
swoop locked
one buttoned
with users
and rev

this is cool
curious fictions 
tanya solo’ed airbnb homepages
plus an author
how can you $
for pro authors
dark trees fading into nice blues

when our
with crystal edge
resonant blades
talents builds with 
student’s sharpened age

focus - e - focus
there’s companies up
on stage. now this one is
PlayingViral. Tuning in.
Trying to hear.
hammering keys, lost mind
gratitude flaring up
sleepy in bed lost deep in love last
year missed two demo days
now, here am lonely poet.

I miss her. 

nightmares are dreams for me. 
dreams are confused, did she 
message me, send me things how
could it be this way, fearful
shivering and bare. 

Focus Evan!!!
Focus you poet. 
you wretch.

Ok, now up: YouTeam
they made $55k in feb
great engineers are rare
but they have… 5 million of them?
those work for dev shops
and often are idle
put these devs to work

here come the orange shirts
for health care for evry one
launch in jan 2019

best way to learn online for kids
lost as I am in longing for
teaches kids coding
infra for schools
brain flickers, mind going back to…
kids and parents love juni
her smell, the way she smelled
good credentialed founders
that last bouquet I brought her and her mother.

mobile wallets are the thing now
flint comes in, giving
helps those with no banks
deposit and withdraw
from a ma + pa
cash easier push and claw

here it is: repl.it
a largest
online dev community 之一
codepen and new AWS.
founders married blessed

better one
works for all
maybe my teeth
will be treated
that perfect smile
‘merica smiles back at you
4% of orths want ArchForm

fix dry eye
help my high
body glue
firm at body temp
take to nevada
in summer 
to lidify
FDA tested

flexport for x
growth hacker
mandarin speaker
and white
did the whole china thing
shopfied, diamon ringed
lopsided poe-brain
high on my mind … 
losing the battle for tinsle time
trying to dial back the …
lost in the …


bloomthat + homejoy
equal bloomjoy
generates content
then syndicates
pulls revenue
off of the ads.

dulma would love this
the podcast app
apple’s in house app
just sucks, only gives 
discrete speed up options
I listened deeply
years, ears came rough
netflix for podcasts
and chill, her 2x casts
mills in kitchen 
ponders her closet

for AR, VR
they grow
ifwhen that happens {
two good guys to know
} else {
technology slow

envkey is hard to say
but seems a thing
a kleenex type of name
has a ring, a keychain

pantyhose only last two wears!?
enter “lip my stocking”-blocking
indestructible pantyhose
it’s sheerly genius 

how bout some data
from blood.
Correllia offers
thousands times more
keeps the mouse alive
with new nanomaterial

dmitry and dmitry
with edwin
ai plus humans
for ESL
learn english 3x faster
to BS well

keeps going .. more start ups
pulse pulse pulse
not the nightclub
not the blood 
more keep a finger on
peer IT, makes reports
to reveal realities
quick to bust out the “T’s”

great t-shirt design
left aligned
teal backdrop
hyper rational user
that real people
can. not. be.


poet = poet + vapePen(3.hits)


don’t know if you
want to sit on the seat of
men’s sit pot 
day of demo YC.

your heightened poet
unfrightened by masses
high on a lithium ion
exclusively scions
that fill these seats

alexis a nexus of energy
pulling in hand shakes 
hugs swirling in

heads begin to gather in the chamber
three in green hats 
all have cash on the mind

katya's confidence
before the show
seeing biorender now I know
drag and drop
markup based
sketch for 
great mock ups
that double as tech for doc's documents
genentech uses it
the standard in science visuals
build some residuals
required by science journals
diggin this pitch which shiz delivers
carteroids in my crushed heart quiver

three in the hats
lap top dudes heartset on no-mans-land games
currency arbitrage
life style exchange
we all have our cancers
we ask what they answer
fly under safety wing

feeling the shivers of vape pen high
trying to under stand macromoltek
for antibod, an it bodes, animal
three years in, falling to 
nothing my life pain fangs
crushing just holding to sanity 
barely there
barely here
life is dream
life is not real
micro or macro or humanization
waiting I’m rather patient.

now I’m seeing some
mid-size plane passerine
literal giant plane toy
looks like
he caught a big fish

tarjimly translates that.

they did things with India’s top

we sat on the bench
breaking our hearts

I just chilled with him yesterday
helped eddie with his mediation cushion
100 thousands sites with butt tons of traffic
pay Universe to host easy builds
new: follow sites when they get updated
joe seriously crushes delivery
and saas don’t lie.

runa but not the tea though

cannabis the lubricant
the fresh fallen snow
souring the power of 
powder to blow nose

aerones the sentinel
popping your sockets
waking up neo
wind turbines today
embryonic human batteries tommorow

qulture dot rocks 
can you dig this thing
stable and growing latam
$800k per a year

pharma from scratch
machine learning based
millions of molecules
clinical! Reverie Labs
drugs coming quickly

simple (too simple) font
news crumbled to click bait

new crypto guys ben
franklin would be long ether
bitcoin for
venezuelan inflation

missed one for a piss run

back for slite
more collaborative
way to write

I can recommend “yc alumni demo day,
where the clementines are seedless
and the companies grow to seed.”

piccolo cv cam casts magic

gasper and miha built tingles
frisson asmr vid plan
people love asmr content
some calm headspace

but if you want to stress out instead:
damn you believe it
does well
knowing who will leave

George with fun hair of sixfold
(looks purplish turqoise in the stage rainbow light)
crispr’s for cancer
are these young techs for real?
shine in bold british teal

along with callisto, tequitable
protecting women at work
rocking the ombuds: it works
harrassment happens to 85% women
94% don’t report.

i just wanna chill
maybe wing it
fly far enough
might need
if you do
want to impress
her just wing it, 
you’ll love what it do.

tipe never manage text
lots of users, 20 in batch
teal kitty swoosh hoodies
tipe beats yaml

mind all wandering 
in toilet stalls
and squandering of mega-mills
how the hell I get here
kan his second demo day
captivateIQ just went
my head is bent
my head is bent
my head is bent

skin delivery avro
patches beat pills
bypass the GI tract
I hit rocky patch
and came out wiser
I hit a nicopatch and 
swigged on cider
the poet the bard
the tech insider

sudden coffee
hell yea dank morning
game changer
zloof that

I aspire
to life
aspirations of dusty desert angels
round solutions
right angles
dancing on fell st. 
I worry about my plants on fell st.
the bonsai, the little guys
think of my little plants
growing out front Fell st. 

crowd thins out
late in the day
just a couple few hundred of us left
listen there’s: storyline
alexa apps 
content platform
there’s some fire there
unique insight

austin woolridge
players lounge 
big month revenue
how is this legal
expanding my mind
he’s ceo
zach is p coo

last break
come back at 5:53
get some coffee
do some talking
im nervous and half stoned


that was a short break
what kind of 

one more. one fucking more.

slides are ready
week on week high percentage
vomit on his YC sweater already
paul’s spaghetti
but the software service looks bomb
and ready to draw throngs

let's do this
the last lap begins
mental endurance sports
cardio is the new religion

thats a lot of co’s
dog one health 
cancer of the pooch
a sad stage

my tennis coach
waited for us
now waits for me
asked “where’s dulma” 
my family wondered
sour to explain
disappearing love
to the disappearing

finbar with the 
joy divis tee
shogun up against shopify

trusu against milk powder
poet’s brain fried
replaying sad conversations
break ups 
hot anger
and tears
eyeliner running
wasn’t always there
her hair was long
we rolled together
collapsing into her
arms I said
“so many things I could say to you”
and so many things I did say
no sharp could keep me away

.. get a hold of ourself man

ok ok

anjuna is a start up
they have a six person team
how much is your company worth
mine, not worth anything.

cancer again tradewind biosci
brain straight on FRY
sunday - why and try?

harkening back
to the day.

standing at her threshold for the “last time”
is there even a reality?
in the extreme dark 
with my little vampire
is there a reality?
is there a science
to this atom and quark?

‘with women its very emotional with the clothes’
is sure to cause waves
brought by ropeo

humble I like
their clothes
real estate
grey scales

talked share trade with jared
now jidois  up
doggies come hoover these
cheetoh’s up

nearly missed secure sqreen

karen and alex with onederful
good to go names pain claims came
teeth were maimed, she was left 
with some cheese to change
and now comes through
it’s mental: a dental game.

culture robotics
we grow organismz
the future if you want
some crazy ass blenders
superbot legit 
it really crisps things
revenue leaves a bit less fear

personalized powder
build up your bulk
and not to demean its
brotein and hotein
ok, sistein for chapels soul fit

hope filled. 
a promise
don’t cell people up.
riding a moment
when crim just
is ripe for change.

don’t mind me
oim joist a lawyaw
oh harvard educated and what
somehow it angles in atrium
make templatization a breeze
and that’s easy to see 
law yaw, dont yawn brah.

in the lobby
the atrium
my money is there
I want to stack more
cash ad infinitum makes me
not the only grinchy guy here.

to leap
in tech
talk safely online
for women by women

a technical 





still she in my peripheral
my signs are literal
chillin like a million

t h i
s i s
e s c