Electric Slides -YC S16 Demo Day

This poem was nearly lost to an incident of careless rm-ing, and after resuscitation through a hacky python script from the deep binary gzip of the chrome cache, it was never the same again. While the poem was on the 'other side', the machine had its way with it, applying its own reductive logic to the piece. The end result is an undead collaboration of human and machine. Ctrl-F for specific companies. 

for those who have never been to
a demo day at YCombinator
it goes something like this

get off at the shoreline exit 
down 101 south
make the left
and before Sports Page
make the right,
climb a flight

it starts to get nerve wracking
because founders are wheeling
and starting to wile
in a crowd full of chatter, and badges
and muttering crazy eyed hopefuls 
readying themselves for their big three minutes.

and then the bell rings
a loud prerecorded voice repeatedly declares:

but by now I'm already in 4 conversations and
3 out of 4 of them testing my patience,
see those cool dudes: Alexis, Garry, Harjeet 
a head nod to Sam on the way to my seat
Pass grinning Qasar, and calming Kat,
waiting for Nick Cortes. The hell is he at?

we begin. for the founders - it's their big moment
for the crowd, a trial of stamina and focus
to listen to one hundred three minute pitches
before your brain melts or your piss in your britches.
a lap top flips open
a poet starts to write
and goofy Nick Cortes
does too, on my right.

Qasar takes the stage. He begins with a thanks.
Now presenting the latest recruits in our ranks:

did you know - USAliens spend nearly
one hundred billion dollars yearly
to join into union beloved so dearly
with boom in new grooms this market is clearly
ripe for disruption
or some CRM
so here comes the Joy. 
wait and see how it ends.

Or maybe, you're just along for the ride
for some car-bitrage. that's why some Indians buy, 
then rent cars to the tune of a milli a year.
JustRide with it, soon the self drives will be here.

what's been the same since 1936?
hint: it goes in a vag (and no, it's not dicks)
answer: a tampon. and enter here flex
the tampon, that let's you... drumroll please.
still have sex.
looks like a black livestrong filled with saran
mvp doesn't quite keep the jam in the can.

have you ever felt bored, when you're 6 miles up
with dry eyes and 3 cubes of ice in your cup?
as you hurdle from London to Prague or Milan
piercing heavens and nimbus, and started to yawn?
was the screen in the seat with some crappy TV
not helping you forget that you still have to pee?
Well with SkyLights, your tedious, sky sprinting days
will be filled with VR. Are you not entertained?

you might remember Casper
by Neil Parikh 
they'll ship you a mattress in
less than a week?
well imagine the same thing...
except for: a couch
and watch them Burrow sofa king
deep in your pouch.

X-Berts is a funny name
and they work with other funny name companies
like Haier. 
I guess... this is where heartbroken Ernie got hired.

The founder of ConstructVR is a poet. he says
if you are as excited about vr we are
wearing black dress pants and a navy blue t-shirt 
it virtual so no more cables 
see what in the galaxy it will enable. 

ok now next up i'm applauding yc 
for taking some strides towards deversity. 
we all know coder probably a white dude 
true that these stereo types can be rude. 
dev color help support retain 
coders who supply new flavor of brains. 

exponent founder was big at fb 
looks like he'll take it ^ the next level to me. 

this is fabric. but not that you wear 
it's more of a when what weaves into your where 
maps out photos moments in time 
from the ex-facebook hackers brought you timeline

only three hipsters in matching black rims 
would new york chef-types 
trust to deliver artisan 
lobsters pasta truffles galore 
found at nobu to be sure you're not poor. 

an iris in bloom is a wedding dress frill 
or dazzling nova around a pupil or.. 
collision avoidance. industrial drones. 
lovely. don't think they'll have many clones. 

cool founding team 
jackets put steph curry on screen 
their algo identifies his ysl 
also offers cheaper product looklive to sell 

waveform pulse yields calorie tracking 
tech behind airo needs backing 

go go gives grandpa lyft 
with old people oriented dial ride service 
its boon to the elders who need it the most 
user ac-q is actually working through post 

lumonistics 3D printed phone cap 
forgot to wear one on bone, got the clap 

in "get shit done" t-shirts 
flies in message bird 
saw them out earlier muttering words 
nervously yet... why were afraid 
$40M arr. parrots get paid 
mocking twilio wide winged casting shade 
announce price war by slashing rate. 

buzzfeed africa stats... omg digital
legit million monthlies 
means biggest website cape town -> tunis. 

new incentives mothers birth inside 
hospitals third cheapest way save lives. 
six thousand babies that die every day 
could grow up click omgd links someday 

airfordable turned profit last 
hear batch than once profitable 

metapacket trackers 
hack black hat painters 
dangerous we. 

...all of that, that was just the first bunch 
merciful Dalton break us for lunch.

squire admire locks curls 
barbershop quartet not for girls 
worked at barbershop for the story 
embarked on path - ol' start-up glory 

slide layered pill brings back a dream!
within multiple labs
our bosses elves 
stacked powders pills 
to feed ourselves 
labor conditions cruel unjust 
humans are to elves as machines are to us. 

pro-active techmate support is the best 
hope their potential investors like vests 

simbi burning man barter skills
teaching yoga here may not pay bills
your students will clean for you,
teach you to ski
lace up your L-wire
slip you some e. 

real life robo-cop. sentinel matrix 
armed sirens flood lights shine faces 
intruders while floating drone-y props 
rather get flashed than shot by cops. 

mentat's logo 
pentagram fox 
what a witch of woodlands 
would carve in rock 
fill in grooves 
with blood of calf 
oh, but don't forget Metat. 
They doubled by half.

raptor ceo 
rugged boot-wearing 
jeans hiked talks 
optimal farming 
overhead shots 
potato ultrasound 
digs data 
most fries/acre 

mosaic of companies make up batch
nine dozen griffon eggs 
trembling to hatch 

lucy alex. couple kids 
ones who I vouched for, now they pitch 
replace human tasks with api call 
uses Teespring?
not that I recall.
started ava then switch scale 
alex strong presenter could go whale. 

immigrating america no flip of switch
in fact honestly sounds quite a bitch 
so with trump dumpster
or he somehow gets in
simple citizen even more of a win 

victor ching miso 
cleanest man in seoul 
saying a lot cause on the poll 
koreans average 1.2 cleanings week 
american kitchens still find ways to reek. 

imagine world where you never get gas 
park and truck comes to top off your ass. 
hop onto yoshi 
and never go back. 

latency kills user experience. 



cykills user
sixa fix that.

millenials care about issues in fact
never vote, since its a physical act
vote.org helping young old normal absurd
ensure tiny big voice can be heard. 

starcity aims address housing scarcity 
$2100 is not cheap 
requests standing ovation 
from ashu while we eat 

odd yellow beacon robotic strange 
makes construction smartsite which must safe 

sam says portfolio eighty billion 
my contribution optimistically one. 

'please take your seats'
isn't doing trick 
indignant restless and sick 
of being told by a bot to sit down 
continue convo milling around

snappy solution jkan on mic says:
'please have a seat and be quiet
please have a seat and be quiet
have a seat and be quiet
have a seat and be

thank you'

athletic calls out igoudala defense 
pulled dubs over fence 
sports writing almost good as this verse 
makes diehards willing to open purse. 

lollicam snaps korea 
show house filters 

maclane zerodb 
enterprise dedicated 
hardware usage 
hadoop nodes 
idle disaster 
secure cloud 
storage raw 
unencrypted bloodless 
coup smoking gun 

suiteness concerned jimmy eating money 

yandex automattic wargaming.net 
names you know!
wallarm security thing 
$100k mrr familiar ring. 

coub word funny pronounce 
vid loops 800M views per month
creation tools => content 

oh my green health-fooding 
work snacks carbs crack 
craveable driving sales 
$10M/year serious kale. 

flutter wave payments 
across processed poem 
anymore info nigerian 
prince red hoodie. 

seneca systems 
building goverment oakland
san jose
revenue $400 a day

peter thiel funding hulk hogan explosive 
asset litigation financing legalist 
if dancing with the devil, know the steps 

emote time-out tech kids who act up
later behind they can't catch up 
child penitentiary 
costs schools $50B

fresh ad blockers 
cause revenue fall 
noble purpose cointent:
ad block uninstalls. 
usually I x out any tabs 
forcing choice between paying & ads 

crowd ai ML from bird's eye view
cruising to profitability soon. 

ray started robby 
little sidewalk delivery robots. 
stanford use case: party pull up with shots. 

record xxxxx xxxxxx 
breaking xxxxxxx 
recently hit xxxxxxity 
come join xxxx revolution. 

helps scientists apply proper grants 
saving money, giving progress a chance 

alex and derek are event geeks 
customers: google uber 
wondering where to sign up? 
summary: geek. 

crane lift 
sales force tower
bleary eyes 
giggling wobble steel beam 
that level of service
excite? terrify? 
check HiOperator 
don't operate high.

astronaut nosing tome 
rocketlit logo ed-tech 
kids bored of traditional text
books won't stay in school 
rocket lit readers dynamic and cool. 

killed when guns toys 
pops they make detectable noise 
new fire detector for your loft 
know when things start to pop off. 
are you under fire, or starting to burn?
a whine from the wall will prevent you from churn 

streamers are dreamers, they want more flow 
should talk to the fine folk at revlo 
gamifies viewing hypes fans 
ample supply, let's 'roid on demand. 

jumpcut courses feel movies 
other ways learning="Ambien" boring 
poet exhausted, nearly snoring. 

replacing nasdaq 
first principles finance
swinging for the fences 

quero dinero stacking each year
talking $3M. ebitda to be clear
brazil universities need help
really somehow reels kelp 

replacing lab testing 
cool ass hand-swag 

So livement: a jersey. a product. a dream
In last month have sort of become a real thing

call steve dean, 'soriek, aq!
polymail has format for you
browse relationship histories 
stack rank amours with ease 
actually boring e-maily stuff 
does anyone have any glue I can huff?

opsolutely deployments 
scripts system rules 
github or aws for deploys 
don't leave something this big to the boys. 

people.ai integrates easily

ooh lala. look at teal Am-Ap shirts 
stats ed making money. milli a year. 

[im dipshit, succophunt, loopsy as fuck,
flippant, fuck it ship shit, hell do you want?]

ok. back on track 
back on the smart path
gasping start up death march 
to finish not to diminish this co
$11k MRR is just “so”

neowize claims personalize. 
online shopping, what would you recommend?
too late visitor already scheduling date 
on FB, two seconds from closing your page.
splits tinderly indicate what user will fuck
with in terms of some junk to pick up.

I have one
thought it would make me baller
lendsnap make monthly payments smaller?
I applied, was a no go from almost all banks
til my mom co-signed with me. Mom, thanks.

cute whale
pokemon near future
growing fast huge 

dont be flyin in my drone zone 
apolloshield applies safety cone 
knows takeover codes 
enemy drones self-implode

ivan kirigin growth mind 
grew 12x dropbox 
2 short years 
yes graph positive win 
10B edges tracked to begin

lack of crowd up front 
justin kan:
'sit in this hole 
can you just come down and sit
fill in this hole here.
ok you did a good job of sitting 
now be quiet.
I'm taking this opportunity to make a snap. 
whatup snaps. 
ever seen such a beautiful audience?'

fellow serves zesty serve food 
set revenue young founders figure 

paul bucheit co. pb. 
collect med history 

launchindia coworkingcenter 
crazy way companies enter
new spaces and niches carve out their share 
optimal pie we slice out of thin air

aside qasar whispers with grin
something to on deck exvivo kids
giggle seem confident
take to stage
allergy testing these days is a shame.

[ call me the wordsmith, the puker of puns,
rhyme whore, the ass of the earth under sun ]

animal testing is part of the plan 
to repair relations between beast and man
farmer only make hundred bucks a head 
so are most cows better off dead?

g-tracking fracking 
cutting the costs
double habitat loss 
but is this evil?
plenty to offer to energy people. 

nova credit 
I said it.

javascript vidcode pokemon and memes 
types of code training engaging to teens 
$15M deals point blank fills bank. 

bulldozair addresses a construction gap
call it a bridge round

||| whyd 
illest? 3? the third?
it's a jambox that looks like 
a megatron turd. 
Whyd is the jibble of bibbles my friends
sounds like the curve of the earth as it bends.

sway has the swag 
to keep audits at bay 
take few thousand jobs 
off the market
that's sway. 

selfycart wants applause 
largest amusement disney? explode 

Rose rocket trucking wanders her shimmering trinket beauty 

find myself squirmingly needing to piss
I chugged coffee, water, and tea
to stay awake for all this.

elemeno. yeah. 
what comes next? pee! 
dear god of start-ups 
stop fucking with me.

utility score used by zillow and renew 
7M api calls only took 3 months to do

oh meesho
would that I cared about all this lovely
stuff you have here prepared

ted from work ramp he grilled me at lunch
I am trying to chew more, he asked me too much.
now I'm squeezing my thighs with my bladder on crunch. 

sweaty palms
each start up brings pain 
how many more of these hopefuls remain? 

proxy office access with your phone
wonder when it will roll out to home 

rigplenish.. pig flemmish? 
that's it. we're finished!

clap. yadda yadda
this batch was legit
I'm off like a racehorse 
at the end of my wits. 


S16 had diversity, building trust
without compromising on traction or thrust

this is
reporting to dusk.