YC W15 Demo Day - The Epic Poem

or “Y is She Leaving Me”
and “Y is She Still Here”

higherme could be another name for meadow
“okcupid for hourly jobs”
how about hourly okcupid, ok with you cupid?
40% weekly growth is… fake?

nomiku, as seen in birthday boy garry tan’s FB feed
cool device? gastronomy for novices?
same trajectory as microwave, late night TV dinner
demandingly sous vide, barking orders at ya.

holy shit, these cofounders are twins. they look the same
distraction - makes for easier rejection
let’s help these candidates, make the most of em.
ok, a network FX for hiring, something worth it

Cleany. CccKCck Cleannnnnleee bwah bwahhh bwawmm
good growth curve, with some numbers to back
ex israeli army dudes though, funny but scary.
shit man, it seems like they could pull this off

messaging automation, funnel conjunction
what’s the company? outbound
the up and to the right ain’t right
but uhm. yeah we could use it, if it worked.

custom framing, 2B in the US, are we ready to call that small?
are we ready for a useful company, with nice creative
ouch, coming off evil on the shut downs in small towns

priyaiyaiyai priime, featured as best new app. 
garry posted that.
got a crack team kid, kickin it up 90k installs
already best app in the apple store

Kuhcoon, I know this dude, ad campaigns
The logo looks like a butt, dude is a little nervous
the market is frickin’ huge, that’s my TS money
“if we optimize every dollar on the market”

VRban, these guys, crazy headsets
good pitch for VR replacing shit like fake apple stores
the opp is that poppin? architects want VR now
profitable in april that’s a big wish, lovin’ it

whoa, pigeon guy gets us to laugh after his 5 yr prison stint
talking in terms of quarterly growth, but it matters
saving people money to connect with the caged youth
what a cool opp wishin’ them well.

treeline, show some good honey and im gonna make a beeline
sails, is like rails for JS. sounds good
smart guy, platform, what, here and there
github luv

how are these guys, and why did it dip during christmas?
trying to be beat github, dangerous space
well, those guys do move fast, omniref
the name is strange, the game will change

gitlab. me wanna flit and hit that dab
sorry homies but the game ain’t fair. 
not gonna try to get this.  feature creeps. 
they make money, wear cool purple shurtz

Team Note. hong kong guys, making real dough
150k emps as users, plus profit, 180% mom-y
still trying to get the product, but who cares?
all these fools are one win deep.

you are spoiling it with those orangish pink hoodies
coral? it goes weird with the YC orange
working corporate with BnB n others
making some small time loot on gifts

a smart guy with a lock on a strange market. clinical
"metric wire is helping clinical trials run faster”
he’s out of Waterloo

GimmeTap! "We’re the tom’s shoe’s of water bottles"
honest about the good they are doing, clever
free water refills if you have the bottle wow
great speaker, pitching enterprise sales wins

Chariot… that bus
don’t ride public transit, those old asian ladies crowding
onto, that bus
my employees were all checking if they could use it

Democrazy OS. I been wondering what they do
30 governments around the world have implemented
philanthropic seed round, who’s in?
we are - for $50k : P

cloud streaming, no dreaming
paperspace is smooth stream virtual
seems like there’s potential
sometimes potential is just potential.


eSuitcase  i want one
called bluesmart
they made 2.5milli
“comefly with us”

we teach
hire their own dogfood

booktrope these guys don’t have the typical YC look
the founders could be a band of highschool english teachers
ivy league profs in another life perhaps
indulutionizing the publishing revistry.

solar city is operational in mexico - like that.
immediately going after india, brazil, and china is ballsy
oh shit it’s actually called bright
why was that not made clear

make money playing games by betting on yourself? 
casual gamers can’t make money, only pro’s
if it’s legal, it’s straight money - he read my mind
“Kickback”, it’s legal. “kickback is coming on all of them” lol

readme? wow what a name how did they get it. URL?
that brand is so damn frosty
every API will run on readme
suddenly, the room is filled with sunlight. beautiful

“Hi I’m Scott Clark, a serious mother fucker”
SigOpt will optimize the shit out of your shit
“what optimizely did for A/B testing, we’re going to do… 
for everything!”

Raven tech, building voice OS
yeah, it still kinda sucks on my android so yea
product demo, show how it’s not Siri
cool, but where will the distro come from.

worklife man, I feel like I have two much of bewth
make meeting work better homie.
automate meeting best practices, so you have to do it
“growth is build into the product”

shift, messaging app for “shift workers”
excuse me for being a douchy tech guy, I don’t know what that is
another burst of sun, it quickly fades
the MOM is on the MAU’s, I need to see the 

[[[is it snowing outside? hella shit is blowing in the air by that redwood tree]]]

Sirum, helping peope with medicines, saving it
the name is so standard, it brings me down
our medical industry is leaking $300B a year? 
medicine donations are the name of the game!

Frazer and Chris are on the TaskPipe, connecting SaaS
mind wandering to dark places… those dreams
what is lucy getting into? what am I getting out of
there’s a terrifying cloudy sky.

cinder… completely unrelated to Tinder, if you can believe it
this is a sicker foreman grill.
temperature control is precise. It’s like my convection shit.
a little war between these fools and nomiku? haha.

did you know there are 8M “higher income, food loving Americans”? 

A for profit making software for non profits - the “Give Effect”
small? nah, non-profits are getting $360 B a year buddy
“one software to rule them all”
can they sign the big names? hold them, make it meaningful?

moltin lava. there’s a dude with some hair
moltin oh shit, it could be a teespring competitor
I’m scared
no, not scared.

Detroit water project. we have contributed
they make donations go direct to the water charity
water bills indicate other problems
how about water arbitrage? we could use some out here

I . O is the thing - it’s AI, it’s Russian, it’s Luka
Cool text chat with Luka to reserve a table
I wanna give this a shot - i might need it for a date haha
“Luka is already better than Siri”

smartspot doing some gym work
keep going on those reps
need more variation in your tone here broth
CTO doesn’t look like a user

$50B data analytics market
pachyderm wit the elefant.
seems like it will take off 
but not in a way I’ll understand

Lol.. Bagaveev guy does crazy shit
hard to get your sattellite to space these days
“the whole world is launching 12 rockets a year, we will launch 50”


PAKIBLE mr. has a twisted stache
775k unit order by soylent. 
hope the packaging is less ghetto now
and somehow environmental… Jobzle branding.

PopPays. still limit on Instagram
Get @paulOctavius 
omg, scary mcdonalds add
better way to advertise. $135k in a month on hi return

I’m just clinging in here
mind drifting back to the garden.

email optimization
30% DAU growth per day, in the low k’s
these late kicks come slow and soft.

Oliver gets the Sun, color coordinated in Pomello green
how are we not on the customer list? I tried to recommend them
… an apology note sent
will we sign with pomello this eve?

I’m out… the VAN hawk guys pull me back in with a amazing looking bicycle
want that thing so bad.
will pay cash

“Magic is Uber for everybody”

wow, now it’s Trackin
focus is fading, a light glaze sets in
even the coffee can’t save me now.
it’s time for a basketball break.

mashgin guys signed a $50M/mo LOI
would instantly make them bigger than TS
wow guys, cool product
no bar codes, this really feels like the future

hard act to follow but here comes pushmark
they lifted the sames of California limited
how does this work?
would it work for me? - eCommerce marketing

DEMO DAY… here comes a copter.
perceptive labs comes up with the quad
eyes for my flybot
cool stuff


[redacted section]
So how secure is XXXXXXX?
I’m gonna guess the answer is “pretty fuckin’”
“the problem is, hackers kee4p changing their patterns”
“by learning what it means to be human…”

__________________day2(not really)

dunnanana how did Jobzle get into YC? CampusJob
they have 100k+ users and 10k more per week
52 hrs to get a job filled
it’s better than Jobzle, maybe even bester, the best.

transcriptic robotic cloud majigery thing
i dunno man
I’m only so technical
a humble man really

flat monthly pricing
domestic transaction, wires are free
i needed this when I got my mortgage
seed stage banking for smubs

da big pill
kevin hale is intent on the quality of the batch, Cowell 
Justin K. celeb status, swanky Abdul
ignoredly, the show goes on

focus is becoming a room wide issue. too much for any reasonable 
mind to consume.

and… we just cured Ebola for .2 nanoseconds of processing time.

Nextravel repping Zenefits. come on man
my butt cheeks hurt from the implied spanking.
Senefits of me to china, europe, or shin ja pwa
“we are the future of corporate travel, thank you"

can i say this? the ceo is signing me on

Peggie Mango from SparkGifts.
gift me a stock? hell yeah.
now, they are implementing a fractional share
it’s good concept.

…this is me, esc
reporting to you live from
YC , A.D.D.
dub two thousand fifteen
hockey sticks split screens
of legitimate green

the mid game
yes, we are fucking with you.
come join with us
and rule the world

gradberry will help me find an engineer

eBrandValue, we blew them off on email
better than nielsen, I can believe that.
I have a little bit of root beer left in my can

a guy with a fake leg, it cost $23k
I would not think he had a fake leg, it’s kinda badass
this is some next level 3d printed zombie crap
but you just can’t argue with that water leg

Willis wit the tech list.
how bout this dr. chrono guy next to me
he runs the largest tech meetup in asia.
probably not a bad guy to know

rescue forensics. it’s real, it saves babies
help law enforcement dig into that ugly side of CL
FBI, LAPD already signed up
a sting man’s silver lining to the dark web

finally, meadow is here! We get cheers around the room. only co.
“You push a button, you get marijuana”
user growth is slow and steady, they don’t touch the nug
get in the business, “come stand with us on the right side of history”

Lumi guys were at TS a month ago or more. 
I like their product, pop it at the Urban O.
“teespring is a billion dollar business”
I guess we gotta go out and make that true, eh.

Another medical scheduling thing. 
i get that it’s important, but i don’t get it.
there’s more to it, residency
a billion dollar budget I’m sure.

ooh lala wine. I could use some of that right now
wine on demand, can I fuck with it yes.
hella zoomed in gif on that happy wine drinker guy is awesome
you win prizes and shit. awesome, they did $300k last month!!

diassess. not my thing. medical
maybe one day, I’ll get into the medical stuff
not the MJ. the device and scheduling
and oooh, the pills, the money in those pills.

___________________ was that 32 to go, or 37 to go?

breath sensor
breadth, mentors

razor pays
slice u in some major ways
cater to blaze


analyticsMD I see?
but through bleary eyes
an active mind, overactive in action in real time
waste of mind
space and time, low impact. somebody need to pull the mic back

thought you said Nasdaq for bongs,
but when it was bonds I lost interest, checked my pinterest
hint that I might interject an adjective unravel it
financially sound, these people are all animate

parking lot pimpin. now this I can see
if you are in an industry where a 20% increase is huge, 
are you in the right industry?
they have contracts, these guys are making paper.

omg they are called “Smarking”

but if names get you off, how’s “iMicrobes” 
wow, they are doing some real industrial level shit here tonight
as dusk’s first wind comes under the garage door
there’s good money in this microbe game, real energy level shit

oh crap I nearly lost my mind, writing at the top instead of here.
thompson was wringling in my wind. 
having watched the first half of fear and loathing last night
miracle my girl said yes to that.

tylenol comes from petroleum… whaaat?
they created a bacteria that turns sugar into acetaminophen
producing molecules with bact. awesome
$980Bn 'Specialty Chemicals’ Market (20n)

100m people each day getting dangerous infusions
let’s capitalize and sell some product
they do have a pi chart make a trilli look small
cool companies. right in the zone

let’s send more money to the farmers, direct
I agree with that
s py the frmersmoreeel

morrey eel.
im getting tense.

water revenues, we are trying to collect more
we can optimize this
get more sales
more water usage, for less water

brickslot, no cribslot. wait cribspot there we go
young men, college age really.
175 colleges they are already on, 100k rentals
25B in student rent yearly, more than I expected

last minute uber mention may not behoove these young fellows
as a guy comes on and riles UP THE CROWD
instavest gets me in on some good investor plans
this number mongering is getting rough “OVER A QUARTER TRILLION DOLLLLAS”

show me that kinda loot YC?
you gonna need about 33 of me.

or maybe one big pill poppin’ phama brand
battery acid producing bacteria?
and here’s kickpay.
and you lost me. seeing the day die in this hellish warehouse of fire orange

OL ! yes, buy a home without a real estate agent
I like the sound of this.
$5k flat fee per transaction, you keep the 3% agent fee
“Real Estate agents, are fucked” lol

this new tech for medical has my attention
Notable Labs
“Sadly, my dad passed away 3 weeks ago,
but his legacy lives on as notable labs."