YC S15 Demo Day - Epic Poem

YC DD S15 

ding a ling
a ling
a ling

the program... IS ABOUT TO BEGIN

just a hominid - searching for a homonym 

Teabot, make me a sandwich. actually, it's a robot
one that makes tea. What's this business model
10 sqft = $10k in revenue, converting space to cash
tea is growing faster than coffee, they have a contract

401 ! but not the providence area code, not Project 401
this is CAPTAIN 401. a nervous performer. 
words flowing like chopped romaine, cherry tomatoes
a drizzle of dressing is... impressing?

wow on the brand of this medical thing... circle CI
meets one medical. It's both. 
weebly is using them. I've confumed ash room. 
maybe... I needs a medical soon. seeing through the veil.

wait I need a second. DRY HEAVES. a second... Measure!
dude these stats are bomb as fuck. I'm seeing numbers
they have already hit $600k in annual revenue, so that's coo
"This is why second measure WILL BE the next bloomburger"

A nervous quarble, a good new drug. How about existing drugs?
There was a similar concept in last years batch. 
Lol at a no laugh Viagra joke. "Pfizer is feeling pretty lucky"
Verge Genomics tech good, jokes fizz-less pop cola.

Let's get chinese wit it. but how about a little trick?
getScale is oDesk for factory workers in China
our robot overlords have arrived. 300% fewer defects
oops I got distracted.

SMS payments, this is for lending.
A heart warming photo of a small business owner in Africa
some confusing up and to the right, is this big?
so the market is 3.5B let's go get it

a new kind of car battery? OHM has that
1886 is the year when the old ass battery type was invented
now he whispers, really telling us something, on the low
supercapacitors+Lithium this is real. and better than duralast.

how the hell do I pronounce... Ixchel? ishul. 
The founders are women in nice rainbow scarves, a better look.
drug development with plastic dishes and mice?
I'm telling you 3D is the future of simulated human tissue.

a british asian guy? Xendit. 
their 1.5B indonesian transaction number comes out. as USD. 110k.
I think they were once called venmo of Indonesia
it's compelling, I think there's money flowing

Foxpass has a catchy brand, they make great security simple
but do they up the stakes on a far ouch room land binge,
high on the kites of a fervent desert wind. 
I have to admit, I don't like the existing solutions.

with an andreesen big boi swagger, they take the stage
these guys look like they are about to take over the world
cymmetria tricks hackers. something like a soviet cyber bannerman
two pectoral polo men flanking my opulent technology

OOLU, hm was this what i was dreaming about? Cole would love it
"we're solar city for off grid West Africa" similar to the Nigeria plan
she rode a rural donkey for 6 miles to charge her cell phone. wow
they have a little kit they lease, it looks great. pay by text

a lot of the numbers today have been user growth, without a $ 

Can I have a look at your BodyPorts? 
They rigged up some red head work out man with WIRES, like neo
their thing looks like a scale. 
im starting to have to pee

oooh. Click and grow. The sickest shit I've ever seen for $299
it's a hydro setup as a kitchen island, nano-soil keurigs you get
but does that mean waste? "cheaper than whole foods" not saying much
they already sold $4M worth of table top systems.

and now for the most boring thing ever: Ironclad
we automate legal contracts for companies
so yeah, I'd pay not to have to think
about this.


I'm now fully torqued.
I'm back
I'm ready torpedo loaded, no lack of flow since six months ago

the intensity of this room, lowers my flow
a fervor, almost a pro sports game in here
inspiring images splay the screen
flayed founders, bearing all

narcotic elements trickling through the crowd my screen melts
the effects one small step can have.
allocating some resources here. this is all PRE show
QASAR with the loud ass whistle

let's do this.

Tab. sort of a relevant name for thsometinnhr
but it's one off. you can pay with Tab, Guatemala, Argentina
Americans are so crass they say "GWATA MALA" 
ok, this is going to be harder than I thought.

Nebia is a great shower head that I've heard of. Garry Tan
must have posted about it.
Kickstarted -1.9M raised thata way. how delivered bruh?
"This creates an experience that is immersive ALMOST CLOUD LIKE"

whatever breaks, the format, makes the format

may not sound particularly sexy? It ain't fool.
they have dollar growth! It peaks out around 150k guessing monthly?
so maybe, shit... Justin got Buzzfeeded
cause of the weird racist troll. 

whoa... ok she looks cool.
they have $20k in weekly revenue, I think the growth is real
The dudes who aren't presenting look SUPER nervous
so... they have a tool Zeplin, need more name emph.

These guys have that in spades: Supply.
charge within 5 feet. amazing tech. These companies are late stage
performing on a great stage
they need a little paper, scraping minimum wage.

Co-factor is another genomics supplier. can we have enough of these
we're the team that worked on the human genome project
but only you believe it.
I'm having one of those saliva factory mouth conditions personally

ecommerce in asia? "there's something strange about asia"
dude, I'm fucking with this.
don't show this ridiculous growth chart, you had me going
he uses that tone of voice like we're talking to little kids right now heh.

whoa. the dude is having this... self driving electric car. it's dopeAF
Auro Robotics. omg I'm having a hard time keeping it together
the shit that appears on the sides of websites these days
"Vampire looking cat"

preventing cost over runs on construction projects seems
impossible. counter to the nature of the industry?
holy shit, that adds up to $300B a year in the US only 
Hua calls it: "Let's build, but not waste!"

the user experience is the thing that takes a massive, milky hit.
laced with hash.

careledger I'm sorry
but your compelling incentive, snap chat style slide up for 3 seconds
is non-compelling from my perspective
now we are back to this $300B savings number.

guys, it's a three hundred billion dollar industry.
did you say trillion?
no. not trillion 
that would be S16's magic number

lol. that dude has a huge bicep
fuck this, so funny
how did he do it? this product
ShapeScale is the way to be self conscious of the future

so, i think i might be losing body mass
due to these hallucinogens

first person to actually walk the stage, this guy has done it before
most confident format presenter I've seen yet.
Insurance on investments
they are all wearing vest, they have vests on, they are Vest.

but I doubt they own vest.com

we built a wheelies at MHQ the other day
now we have a so swag hipster stockholm man in some tiny shorts
telling us about how wheelies is going to beat starbucks
those things are hard to push. 

Serica is financial services for Cannabis.
15% yearly growth rate for that CBD industrial
38% weekly for these guys
cannabusiness never looked so, financial.

ROSS ! yes. the co-founders are so smugged out, swag souace
how old are these guys? let's go replace lawyers together
i never seen such swig warmed flunky side mouth grins

mergh... started to get too many presentations in a row
how god damn mortal I am. we all are? 
why the fuck born into this serious ass world
Tesorio, I'm sorry I missed you.

fuck yeah. "Transcend Lighting" a new LED grow light entrant
3.6B projected 2020 LED market size in US
An HPS grow in Saskatchewan could be making twice as much
with cheaper LED electric power from Transcend

ok these gig ups are merciful short.


the more I think about it, maybe Kendrick was right when he said
"When it's all said and done, Dr. Dre will go down as the best ever to do it"
or maybe. it's because I saw the NWA movie, or maybe Kendrick was right when he said:
"I'm MAD! but I ain't stressing"

the presentation gives me pause. space, or comma.
buttons advancing as do we X O triangle, KEY
all while chilling in the corner is the esc
i guess that shets why what makes me
the daddylonglegs with long webs, 3z.

LUNA, the smart mattress cover. "Nest for your bed"
should still be called Nest. does it repel mosquitoes? 
they fucking revenged on me last night
were they pissed about Friday, when I killed 5.

A nasal voice, a strong hand. TetraScience
oops. I'm taking the conversation to Wen's chat box
telling her weirdly about "Or as I dreamed it last night, ‘lilu'"

focus. focus evan. GrowSumo, is that logo not
racist-or-hilarious enough to get your attention
two out of four co-founders are built for it, strong neck
theres a type of meta level growth happening but for what

Klarisimo!!! I'm already saying it in my head.
eww... this 3D model of the body is disgustingly real
subcutaneous vs. visceral fat? these things exist
now we have the "Google street view" of subcutaneous fat.

xfers is solving what feels like a really f'ed up problem
people are paying IN CASH for online buys???
this is for Southeast Asia, a land where banks don't have API's
this brand name is unstoppably good. "xfers" 1.8M processed so far

beaming co-founder of GiveCampus. 
revolutionizing education fundraising
bringing watsi to the developed world
"developed" we shake it like a polaroid picture. 

boom boom boom 

shit. I'm missing Hickory
it's an 8B thing
to you know
do what you

Drone delivery service, made real, by a quick witting chap
Flirtey. Working? Kitty hawk moment in the history of the industry
yeah last slide "now is the time"
... "Drone Mcdonalds" says wen

This coffee pitch guy is making me really want coffee
while "real work" looms overhead in slack chats popping
I'm going to hit this guy up during the next break
and ask him to pop me on a pod of coffee.

hemophilia app
er, micro. something
The way he is talking about it, I think there's something real behind this
multi-miliioon dollar contracts on the way, big users. microhealth

LEADA, brian says "how is everyone doing" that's nice
he's also already working with us and walked by while I was 
having my lucid nap. funny things these lives.
they work with Zenefits and have saved them $75k.mo by someone's reckoning

Jeremy Cai, is the bottom of the stage guy,
for a cool new app Onboard eye kwai? 
purple is the pigment all the more kawaii
the data on hourly workers is highly valuable, you could have said... lyfted

all the fuckin' shit I typed in
drop capital it's piped in
back of my throat coat on this white lightning
crash with the Simba, lion king

ooh it's the guy who's robot made me a sandwich. 
Teebot always failed at that task. 
in fact, this shit can make 300 sandwiches per hour.
I like the idea of this. It's actually really delicious, I just ate one.

911 services... FOR $30 million a year already.
from an elite team ... takes?
nursing homes ... best start up in the batch?
"Ive fallen and I can't get up" - saver of 2(million) lives.

Qasar announces the end of day one, so I guess we are nearly halfway there. off the record

here's a little software XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
that gives you data on what the fuck happens
between that conversion - and not converting. 
this feels dangerously much like something that will get caught in between waves


Day 2... we got a couple more to get through
Lugg will come through
uber for moves, lyft for boobs
I'd say that's a pretty value add service

gigster has an icon that looks like ico. 
I'd say that's tweeter neetles. 
there anything better? "we are the world's engineering department"
a lot of little ghosts under the hood. Founder of Mafia Wars? zynga royalty

Dhaka is sounding like an interesting market
their 7000 sqft facilities they have 2 built already
cost $250k to build and staff. pays back in a year
The amazon (strikethrough)fresh( / ) of bangladesh

"HER" wow. helping women connect with each other
this pitch is unstoppable - 80,000 weekly users
Lesibian/BI/Queer women talk more online than any other audience
there's another chapter to this. it's not just for Queer women. WE are HER.

Jopwell! Diversity has become a pipeline problem.
now a network connects black, hispanic, or native american
a big number is $346k, but what exactly is that
or over a $9 billion dollar industry to make the workforce more colorful.

The co-founder at this company is wearing a sick t-shirt
fully encoded, in symbols. Fonticons.
how do they make money?
sort of.

ok source DNA. oooh. App store rejection on your DNA source code
so burn. so diolysergic. Or I heard that RNA is actually the cooler "NA" these days
they can detect issues in apps. almost like a mesopotamian Ashipu
massmassu, pouring over a sacred tome. Goat eyeball, milk of taro. 

red carpet is a thing taking over India, order for in store pickup.
great photo of a market in India. the original conversion funnel
people opt in to be converted, it's a mall of a world.
everything's for sale motherf*cker! what are YOU buying?

they've grown 6x in the last 2, 3 or 4 months, depending on which slide

gravitational? the boss from Dilbert? 
what about the dog from. 
tired of animal shit. man
dogs shitting, cats puking, excreting bullshit. this place needs work.

the guy from interviewed has a classic look, I think because he was on a panel
I've taken notes on this dude before.
pull up in my company. the hell are ya'll not bumpin' me?
makes me wonder how good I even am at my job now. or what my job really is.

I'm willing to try this product. I'm trying to be ready to die
but is there an app for that? there is now.
I could create my will right now. and I love that idea
say it takes 8 minutes to fill out. 1 out of 4 people landing on homepage create

only life can pay for death
but what can death pay for? about $130M or users according to these guys

watch videos of skilled programmers, watch the tricks
this is an impressive concept.
calling out Twitch - but this is not just a game, these are real skills
and the audience murmurs in agreement

looking forward to unleaching so chaucid lines on all you prospective investors
and barrel chesters
leeking to my laif n see what festers!
dank chrill green
between swarms weave charms to set screens
a net beams over treble and almost edible
here's my little opposistic lapse into chmance parable.


Bao chicka wow wow..... bunnanana yeah yeah
bun bunnnanana here we are.
nick cort with the sport cort looking so star.

The dudes are cloudstitch
and they'll tell you what's up. 
we had em all. i dunno condomed up I guess
and now for.

VIVE, with a font like HER, but where more is sold
and less is bold. it's a blowout
not a sale, but a hairdo treatment for women
and in the future, all kinda good do's

Afrostream is a netflix for black people,
but not in the US. Europe, Africa, and SudAm
Hollywood makes good black content, but it's stuck in the US
they actually charged $100k already. love that

Convox is taking on a gorilla in Heroku, but.
a heroku alternative would be pretty great, with better uptime?
from the guys who USED TO WORK at heroku
talk about the heroku guys worst nightmare. Karma's a bitch huh.

they don't have a free tier, so better for biz?
the up and to right is aight,
but looking the numbers on the left
are still a little bit light

silence for. L. taLia, in some better outfit than anyone else up there
what condoms do women want? those are the ones men want
does unprotected still feel better post karma?
"making condoms is cheaper than printing money"

back. missed one or two

my name is Harj, I used to be a partner
now im pitching TripleByte cause we stay hungry.
the co-founders are post exit. 
they know the space.

im a fire faced
I could never 

GEMnote style impeccable
I think she's right there in our Teespring SWAG space
no, spend money on shit that actually makes a difference.
the same thing the Rap Genius shirts said at my alumni demo day: "FUCK SWAG"

roomblocker has your hurt on locker. knits on these hits
finding fitness in a foot soccer
2.35 B room nights. how many quiet time lovers.
Is this competitive with nextravel?

don't be a drag
im the blood on the rag
im the sutter home and sublter
with fluttering fragments

scoping out 350M calls per year
now or then? I can't really tell. oh it's speculative
more of a scope you in techno tomorrow solution
get an expert on AR

I'm high on caffeine, shrooms and weed
I got it from a pen so it can't be seen
I'm scoping out some start ups tryna lobby for seed
hardly in my element but fuck it I'm clean.

wow, he looks exactly like the guy in the shirt on the picture
thanks, MADEright. looks like you made it right on time.
"Just take a look around you. Everybody is wearing clothes!"
I want to create a cool hack space called "Hack Space"

breakout room. this looks cool. fun.
the better webinar. let's redefine the webinar.
reminds me of that scene in the NWA movie
Eric pulls a silenced assault rifle in the hotel

yeah. Paribus
on the cusp of I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
brain drifting off to a nother location.
wen can I be out there with "the people"

sebastian, used to be a pro e-sports commentator
I feel like I have heard his voice before.
notes is starting to bug out. making a lot of copies of this file
e-sports has some promise. work with instant.

the salon industry needs a makeover. NEW FILE


because the old file could not handle it
not even one little bit and we need 
A FRESH start.

StyleBee brings the services on demand. Will
they hook me up a haircut?
fly like that.

see me at the end of this? swag is so tangible
find a new cadence three lines
make it manageable.

sywork needs a hykoo looking just lykoo
twitch for creators, are we hitting a niche?
100 M digital artists, all lift off, for the J, make it swish?

you might think it's funny
but it's actually, an entire fucking industry. on BitMovin

ooh it just loaded! they are making $30k a month right now.

founder and CEO of snipe.
share. somehow this makes me want to fire myself
I'm junk.

my ex girlfriend appears to me in dreams, morphing
an echo reminds me what we had
rubs me glad. 
nuts! me sad.

New story is one of the non profits. well thanks. this is converting tent slums
I start my morning off with fire and much purpose
Monday is my gun day. blazing ace - service.

(picktrace) the OS for farms, that run circles around my head.
or as I've been wanting to say for a while:

scent/send bird allows women to date perfumes before marrying them
or the other question: would you marry someone
who wears perfume?

the pitch is oddly compelling. they are profitable. there's money in smelling good

I'm stripe like
John C. Ollision
the pitch I've been polishin' 
will leave em all demolished
all the small ish I'm swallowin'
drinking it down
if there's another number tuber
then it's snuck in the ground.


now I'm watching on the TV from the back row
can't tell you how much better this is. 
I think all of demo day should move in this direction
and incorporate HDR. can you do all that securely? 

qasar: "It's time to sit down... LUCAS!"

there will be refreshments after
and isn't that nice.

social features make better games. pre-packaged software solution
Heroic labs. you could be my he ro
instant camera.

marble maybelline, data we stream. 
and how the hell you play with playdough
cretins. credo is based on plato 
there's philosophy here.

the blue crew is the new crew, back with a drippy dick
or was that just me? 
wish I was reborn just a damn slight less lusty!

there's some video thing going on, like a road trip
but more of a trippy time.
surfing, smurfing. I'm finally barfing.

oooh. Markhor. they have those great shoes.
craftsman only makes $5 on a $1000 Gucci shoe
they can get these great shoes to me for $250.

when you've met someone before, you like them more.
the circumstances of the first meeting don't matter.

or do they?

or are they literally everything. 

the tickets are what matter
having the right tickets
at the right time.

sorry I can't keep writing the poem now.
I'm Bizzy.this matters. Increases the revenue on Shopify stores
internet marketing in the box? it feels so right. must speak with her after. 

can't keep up with demand?
can't keep up with ‘the man'?
times are tough, but here's MIMIR

copy cats are detected. grades are effected
sensitive bits all protected. hella encryptid. 
poly Mantid? expand on that.

starting this Spring
and then 
blow fans on that.

we are getting closer to... the noisy end of all things
lost lipids, crime on my like ID?/

D. D. 21K5TEEN 
why see
before you C mee.

but then I'm plagued by a dream of Lu
that won't let all the you-ness through
so I'm depraved of a dream for two
the path paved, b'th seam weaved through.
it's the same games that make newness new
the light waves that make blueness brew.

with my plate half full half empty, I prop up Plate IQ
and if told you that
this meal ain't HAPPY, large chains like McD's - they knew

delITeful there eden
you're towards the end. I'd say by now.
we've had it. a jello lover. I'll take more. but I'm not begging for it.

so, I guess I'm fuckin' south bay royalty.
had to conquer Oakland just to
prove my loyalty.

app canary in a coal mind
underground my mole mine
these hackers are for real, with no known joke among them.

but see, we have Plate joy here, tryna flip my grin
from a fat face frown to a single chin. 
the key word here is "default" which is a word with similar letters to: Feudal (t)

meanwhile, they are switching out the radiator on my new old 300zx

instawork bold slide deck here
DOS blue, white text, this feels, not technically advanced.
or maybe pre-apple. if that was an era.

ready and willing 
spaghetti I'm killing
confetti is swiveling
up in the air.
is all of your Karma and fear of big Pharma
confident cannabis

fresh out the lab.
with testing, de-pesting, and active or resting
and ratings and rhizomes and
danker the treasure
is SaaSable measured in raquetball
put that on my tab.

put multiple glasses 'bernet on my tab
unthinkable that they would leverage the lad.
the cad, 
the mark,
the tenders at Sparc.
they vaulted from Stanford
we panzer commandered
and that's where the fuck that we landed with that!!!

Serious Sam
with the shorts that go