Batch, Please!


Feeling and not feeling some type of way
about start ups in an every more crowded ecosphincter

Nervous schizo looking founders reciting memorized boiler plate
On stage, getting into the zen of it.

and boom:

NURx is the fastest way to get birth control
ethics of birth control? you take a pill each day
or I rap up in plastic, the moment of slay
99%+ HIV protection is hard to portray

MAGICbus was my ride in
slides are simple, coordinating this morning was a nightmare
the bus ride was magical, with two good friends, cruising the 280
the math that says their market is 2x Uber is truly… magic

how are people paying in Nigeria?
$150B is changing hands, in cash, in person
with Paystack, this comes online
“our team is very solid”

Fouad was using Tovala, now his chicken is better
cooking that forbidden rice, it comes out just right
Every. Single. Time.
$235k sales on Kickstarter, But it’s no miku.
The ovens are a Trojan horse, so
competes with NURX?
bar code scan it in for microwave safe sex.

He’s up on Stilts
Leaning on a loan
Like me, he had no credit history
Immigrants need money, $435k out, $67k back so far

Gecko climbing up a wall
who’s compliant of them all?
Robots find their way to see
The rust within the industry

In India small farms own the market
Kisan is the spark to disrupt
a rickety village cart
to an iPhone screen

OutSchool guys are an experienced bunch
with a classy approach that says “let’s go get brunch”
they care about learning, and that’s mad respect
but how about the business aspect?

Drought for the farmers for 500 Million,
World Cover is insurance that can make us all billions
when drought hits they pay out, and cover the loss
7.5k have checked “Yes” to their TOS

Zene… fist? Zenesys. Zenysis
“a dashboard for running countries”
when you need aggregate data
the sleepy poet slogs on, droopy eyed.

Remember those porn chat bots on AIM they used to have?
ASL. ASL. The stats for these chat bots are THAT HOT
1M Daily active users of 130k bots on Chatfuel
People live in messengers, let’s make more of it. I want to use it.

On the chat tack, Mailtime makes email into a chat
This is a good idea, China version has become huge
Integrating with a chat app that has 200M+ users in 中国
100k+ DAU and won an AppStore Award

Varden has a self driving golf cart, sitting in the parking lot
It’s cute yo, a little buggy
went live at Sacremento State University
with no casualties! Oh, except the jobs it eliminates.

Stitch, and still, not one woman has been among the founders
Slack is good but for some it lacks
If you work in healthcare, Stitch is like crack
Doctors don’t even work anymore, they spend 8hrs a day on Stitch

Cover has you covered. In red.
Take some photos, burn your house down
make insurance claims
it’s that easy.

And finally, we have a female founder, the undeniable Mackenzie
Downtime is bad. Is sleeping ok?
Redspread makes deploys less error prone, taking the “human” out of it
So staging always matches production,
philosophically founder rehearsing on stage
Earlier, she stood in that exact same place

So what is a PetCube
It’s a hackathon project but, a company. You can even
fuck with your cat using a laser from your phone. what?
The’ve sold 20k units thus far.

Oh goody, finally there’s a bag for that,
a founder in a fitted t-shirt. The white on red theme is popular
They are getting to a 5.5M GMV run rate
Nearly half of take out and delivery $70B is consumed in offices.

How will I BEE STYLE?
On demand manicures
pedi’s and threading
in SF they’re doing a milli and spreading.

Shyp. Shippo. Now. Shypmate
Airbnb for that extra space in your suitcase on a flight to Nigeria
people in Ghana want H+M. They don’t realize that it breaks after 2 months
The model is odd will the industry bear?

Action cameras are a thing
I guess we are talking a GoPro here, but dancing around the name
Revl is rounder, chiller, more stable, and edits for you
a quick vid shows why it’s better than the GOP

Poppy jalopy by now I’m quite sloppy
Childcare help so they aren’t screaming “Mommy”
trust is key when you must leave them be
and 18 year nuisance gets off school at 3.


Unnyworld - an Imposing cartoonish Tauren
Mobile MOBA
Funny fonts say “play with us”
purple ink on white

trac is a running business
making it possible to easily sign up for races
surprise - that’s an $8B market
changing the landscape

computer vision - focal
a tablet on your shopping cart
imagine a homeless man
cruising down the street with one of these

outdoor audio - beets in the garden
it’s a mega jambox - Soundboks
loudest battery powered speaker ever
$600k worth of these things have sold

they built that funny clocky
screentime is bad, like my mom used to say
a plushy toy, for pre-screen babies who still need tech
this is something really new - $800k so far

can I get those yeezy boosts?
in pirate black - my shoes already look like them
hit me when it restocks
says a cap topped founder in some swag pink Saucony’s

passwords are weaker than user behavior
with machine learning finger print tech you’ll be safer
come to my Castle I’ll make you my boo,
if they steal your credentials - I’ll give them mine, too.

Kaoss pad looking light switch
unique though? Idk, it’s Deako
smart and connected and sold to home makers
start with a dumb switch (stitch) switch it out later

Boks leave you empty? In this case it’s winebox
beautiful test tubes, individual glasses
keurig for cabernet merlot and pinot
twist top a vial and whiff in these peachy notes

Meter feeder makes it easier to feed your meter
Dumb meters don’t need to upgraded, just give the meter maid a tablet
parking is no joke $30B a year
down in Pasadena chomping on a massive Fajita.

hi Linden of queuehop can I skip the line?
a tucked in white button puts him in line
just load up your basket and walk the fuck out
no more long lines and this mucking about

Wakie wakie little baby
will I make it through awake? Maybe
my fresh ex is texting me, no one sits next to me
Wakie please set up a call with my next lady?

this white function hoodies a glimmer of hope
celestial bodies as pure as the pope.
with creams for your bristles, before you hit bed
disruption of beauty is full steam ahead

LendEDU has a familiar ring to it - new student loan system
more debt by the moment. But graduates now will wonder just how.
I feel so strange I’ve seen these slides before
A multi-billion dollar ceiling, a monthly growth rate floor

Holy shit, this squad is the real,
lined up in their super-suits hunting a deal.
Influx captures motion, the badge on the chest
says - “I’ll fly you to dinner and show you the rest”

Promptly it’s clear there’s some overlap here
another chat-bot making platform, oh dear.
So will I use chat fuel to program my next beaux
or respond to the Prompt here proposed white on blue

Able health stable wealth cain and enable stealth
fables are tales of easy-reach wealth while the minions
The records go into their system
medically speaking they cash out when Doc’s listen.

Drones drones drones droooooooooones!
but there’s still too many people involved, how bout a landing pad
that charges and services drones, now we delete jobs
and AirBnB out more homes!

On the up and up now. With UpLabs
Easy integration of a CC form! Seems like swipe at Stripe
They’re taking on search, so what’s the connect?
I’m confused and concerned and my karma’s a wreck.

stealthy sir, may you help me secure
there’s not enough cyber threat heroes in hurrr
now we can farm out from a stable of skill
the contractors are trusted and able to kill

[ my stomach is septic
my eyelids are droop
the one thing I’m dropping is plastecine poop ]

Hello to the Acre - I want this fine home.
It makes it’s own energy, keeps the air clear
a shipping contain costs $250k,
build better green homes, dope shirts, go seize the day

Truebill helps you recur. I need that, I suck at it
the billings are killing me day in day out this flaps of
an envelop strewn on my couch. My bank accounts
busted by face in a frown. If truebill can solve all this, hell yes I’m down.

Chiller than twitter is Chitter
a new social network for students, that's better?
People spend more time on chitter than FB
stuck on the shitter group texting a meme

this is un-thunkable, how can it be?
they make building mobile apps oh-so-easy
the brainchild of braniacs Goog, MIT
if you funk with thunkable, come give us green

5k apps like Lyft and Soundcloud use “Instabug”
$400k ARR for SaaS, if it was just a lifestyle gig I’d pass
but scaling with Instahelp, new users
this instabug thing might just really have legs

I was punching and kicking their bag just before
Now white on red shirts show what Hykso is for
It goes in the glove and gives you some stats
On how hard you could pummel some shirtless dude’s lats

KareScore, CareSkore, actively negotiating $29M/year
now who cares more?
Hospitals waste in the ten’s of Billiones.
Now CareSkore is coming to check those cabrones

With Landed your community helps you downpay
On a home for some equity if your folks aren't bougie
It’s all well and good but around here there’s a rub
if you make home buying easy - the prices go up.

I’m falling behind to hear SnapEDA
Electronic Design cash for the day

Some fellows who sheepishly joined me for lunch
are now pitching SECful, preparing to launch
to protect API’s from the goons in the night
custom security SECful provides.

Skymind a beautiful name and shirt
that’s cloudera for AI, nice design bad DTG print
Deep learning, use cases industry wide
With all these Java clients there’s nothing to hide

Time to just go - Alphaflow with it
Helping real estate investors while I’m going to git
trying to checkout code and ended up on FB
checking out some biffled cutie who’s been winking at me.

There may not be life after death but there’s Halo
no not the XBox game you played and munched egg rolls to
purple the chosen color of death, funeral services
easy to use like nest.

[ I’m a horny dead animal
scanning the channels from hell
under malebolge. ]

He hails from Egypt
and Lynks is the product
it overcomes barriers to entry
eCommerce in new markets

Rappi with knee slapping logo mash up
of instacart, postmates the Carrot flies UP!
And so is their growth graph neon orange jacket puffs
these low labor costs make the model robust.

rocking in the free world, a new type of guitar
most learners quit, they don’t really get far
it’s a cheat code to play well when you use this strum
but it won’t impress punk girls, they’ll say, “dude that's dumb”

There’s something with streamup, I’ve seen them before
or maybe their logo just has that decor, that je ne se quois
that “view of the day”
they have HOW many viewers 20 million? That’s cray.

Oil giants, god love them. Jeb Bush love them. Money grubbing
crime syndicates love them, plastic purple plesterine material
coating new born babies in a silk slime cereal
and extract that data from the womb of the source. I’m sorry mr. Mineral, but it only gets worse

[ Off the record ]

Can’t talk about this rocket
though the poet unlock shit

more oily slime. but they go off on time
just one more co between me
and a BREAK to be mine.

holy shit what is that guy holding. that is… a fucking space thing!
dude that’s sick.
impressive these numbers, the tech is quite dope
the money is space at the end of my rope

yay a break.


wheel chair inspiration. he was shot in combat
paralyzed, a strong American paraplegic hero
a better catheter solves a huge problem in his life,
direct control of one’s peeing the end of much strife

Konsus is on Erik’s short list
they connect people easily with task doing freelancers
and their Monthly sales are 10% of what we had at demo day
which is to say - still pretty good

Another chat AI company, white on blue
they are called msg-AI. The focus is more for business
if I have a question about my condom I can ask Durex-bot
like, is it cool to ask beaux to use NURX a lot?

Mason. That Sweater Though.
Geometric, Trippy. Custom Android devices
Heart monitoring with a 3 yr. contract
Relationship saving over the same lifespan?

people don’t want to sign - this is an issue for deal making
how can I … Get them to Accept?
with 350 paying customers, and a growth curve
it makes you think… Will investors GetAccept?

I have to admit, I’m fading to grey, while the green shirt enthusiast
stands in front of a screen. He’s pitching retargeting, for GNC
10x gains to sell powder both on and off screen.
A brick and mortar cookie for users. flexRee - let’s eat.

Grey and red converse on feet of the founders,
a button down showing his chest to the collar.
This PaveIQ shows you the way to reveal
stats normally you’d need an FTE for - a steal.

Deepgram can get us down into depths of the speech
a search done by sound that's astounding in reach
in logical empathy, get what you were going for
they practiced with iCracked, who made $500k more.
“Dark Matter Particle Physicists”…

Online checkout for car dealerships makes sense
that process was painful, I nearly walked out
and left my new Mazda half signed for in doubt.
Drivemotors solves all this. Anyone can be Tesla.

Dustyn gave me confidence driving Titanic’s End to the dust.
Now his company Dose Dr. helps insuline injecting
Diabetes patience to feel the same sense of calm.
They’ve saved a first patience from an ICU visit.
A $10B market opportunity, where the math actually adds up.

Start up like a rocket with my pockets on FLEEK
wake up in the morning at my rocket ship's peak
for smarter dog walkers there’s a PocketSuite
where payments and message get you in here to keep.

Biotech is built on pipetting by hand
A new eye drop robot is what’s in demand
The Mayo Clinic is using their tech
A milli in run rate earns shruggy respect.

A-Nova AI, sales emails it writes
combining the relevant human insights
to serve sales humans with their own fate
when we triple your blood and flesh flawed open rates

Histowiz tissue processing
kleenex all I know, it’s lost on me.
with 400 clients, there’s those who get it
with $80k monthly, I wouldn’t forget it

ZEN… prospect. yes. another Zen company.
the clicker is broken, he tries it in spurts
he’s aiming it wisely, but now this just hurts
they eat their own dogfood to milli a year.

Solar in the developing world. Nice shoes, a noble cause
The team raised over a billion for Solar previously
SunFarmer is a non-profit, they need that “invest”
I should talk to my brother, same concept, he’d have interest

Loop genomics has tech that fixes bugs in DNA
at least that’s how I see it as a CS BA.
$2 per molecule that shit must add up
one single client worth $20M/yr - that’s big bucks

Are you going crazy? Well, now there's Kip Health
treat bad brains with data, take care of yourself
Patients log data, clinicians tune in
They actually use it, that’s key to the win.

Brokers broke the trucking industry.
A novel solution in mobile pollution -
Glory for GoLorry. unified platform.

Oh Shit! Vehicles!
Speaking of glory - they just sell the guts
For special electrics like buggies and trucks
they can make $300M on just 13 cust’s

Jack! He’s with Lattice. And what a fine guy
They left us and started this thing - with great slides
Without goals, we are lost, we all wander astray.
Lattice keeps all of the team on one play.
I actually use it, or at least I signed up.
His low printed shirt makes me think - he’s a slut.
Compelling voice Jack, you’re attacking it well.
And I’m proud to Eric there looking so swell.

+20% with a Picture in Picture
in distract-o-max web world that’s quite the elixir
they call this shit Pulpix, but will it go Porn?
Browse to the next tits with PiP keeping things warm.

Robo. Robo. Growbo. Growbo.
Automatic Green House, robotic and steamy
no humans required. so keep your damn CV,
They solved immigration with job automation.

“Bok Choi Break” Says x@yc


[ and it turns out that break was the greenest for me. ]

Physi OH gnamy. Management lobotomy
made my bread and cheddar off of
labor and property
as long as they keep loving it
and lobby for me
there wouldn’t be no better hobby for me.

Eliminating open defecation
is amazing
It worse that just a nuisance,
death:half a miilion a year.
more toilets help us
flush down the tears
“if you give a shit”
there's SHRI

what goes BOOM?
like stefani, azalea
but more bugatti from SF
to Narita or Haneda
and speaking of fundred numbers
how bout 500 planes,
at 200M a piece
- dime of a trillion (and change)

Castle? Oh that’s a hassle
namespace overlap.
sadly this prev-rents me from enjoying the crap.
but hey, I got this casa and I wanna profit offa it
King he needs a castle so there’s cross-name merit.

[ Sprinting through the finish of this Finnish Triathalon
sitting in a sauna with fauna that’s from a hackathon
splendid how we ended it and mended it quick
and yet there’s prickles in the thicket of dicks. ]

The government subjects poor people to a demeaning UI
if you want food stamps, here’s a fast-ramp
only 5 minutes, no Queueing for hours
A pantry that’s well stocked makes this family proud.

She’s the most compelling
Spirit quiver precision.
A voice to move a nation
from quiet indecision.

Protonet servers
are as crispy as fuck
now keep your own data
with a business that prints luck

Macaroon, scones, throwing bones
making homes
Georgette Packaging these boxes look ravishing
A milli rate and profit. Has a familiar ring.

Now I’m shaking lividly unwillingly I’m chittering
clicking on these keys til I drop dead.
here’s your slimey poet guy,
the one you see is hella fried
with blear in his eyes
and who was curious but lost it
when seeing this many prospects
what ever will they drop next?

This is a breast cancer screening device,
that’s good for the home and will surely save lives
with temporal data you notice the change
as those wonderfully horrible cells re-arrange.

Who shot the handle and who
killed the keg?
I could swear that a Pluot
was dinosaur egg.
A genetic mashup of apricot plum
this box gets you conferencing
drive like a thumb.
The founder has tech master
“I make shit” vibes
and we’ve all had crap conf tech some time in our lives

The bigger dude’s t-shirt actually has a bigger print.
And that actually makes them match better.
than if the logo were the same size.
for digital prints, this glance could redefine.

it’s a way that I sleep
as I saunter distracted away
on the creep

Copia gets it! They are here on this day!
I have to say food waste is something I hate
Food waste will be illegal - as well it should
and that’s why Berkeley-based Copia’s bound to do good
This biz iz the the shizz
it’s a thing I believe in
All this catered food that we’re leaving uneaten,
makes us in our Castles as loathsome as heathens.

and odd laugh rings out
at a superbowl mention
low on the currents of hideous ear.
Copia kills it, make money with leftovers
in karmic defense of the rest of us hoarders.

emburse there in purple
the poem keeps on. The curse in my bladder
as strong as hits bong
I sit in a stillness
exposed to my fate
cause I been feeling kinda lonely of late
“you don’t say?”

Lai has that eye
that hones on success
he sold to Box
timed for perfect effect.

[ reflection on the revolution:
the drop outs
on mission
did they climb
up to their pinnacle
unicorn fruit of ambition?
or was it lost amongst the hugging and kissin? ]

as I was opening up I StartClosing
what kind of money is he proposing
a funny joke is relevant - sugar coating.
Bemoaning what I’m promoting - a soul of the crux
feeling wicked above the folding on fux

uncurable rare
is this odd ailment
and one in twelve of us are mortally inflickted
and the terror of the failure case is children
who pass a way
a terrible little parable of human life wasted
and here a plab platform
to hasten the pain erasening

and now for a reminder:
well I guess there’s that new iOS app
with the web hooks
so why not just check the index
like the folks SVA
will then enamor Ron on DDay?

This is problem that we are trying to solve,
Interstate can get that info congregated is cool
they stepped out into the challenge
tracking data for days. let’s stack some more chips with these ad tools!

in the embers I see
rising out of the flames
a phoenix is a remix made from legos and clay

Ulcer is bad
chubby baby foot poor
prosthetic vein tech is a cure
Innovein will be in humans
within the next year
hope that I’ll be in, too
if the meaning’s not clear

Buzzing around are the netbeez
and you gotta respect that they immediate detect
any stutter in the net flow and get mo cheese
in the next year they could hit the milli’s

taking the Podium
without one.
online reviews… online.
$3M in ARR is more than on par. Numbers like that actually
make them a star.

Lygos is econohemically sound
there’s a white powder we’ll sell you in mounds
a breaking bad factory, gleaming in chrome
Malonic 'cid in each American Home

Eric had to shoulder tap for Trend MD so I’m guessing this
is splendidly neat.
they’re growing absurdly into $50’s a month.
controlling data which sure to be crunk

Yardbook shirts looks classy, like it came from the gap
landscaping was never such an event
onboarded 10k companies
that’s far from a joke
but there’s 290k in the grind they can smoke

It’s Bonsai, but it’s for White
collar freelancers,
you must “think tree” trim the dead leaves
and keep the soil moist

Hingeto sounds a bit like my Spring
but targeting a higher market luxury goods
merchandisers pay for their shitty predictions
so take let's take the guess work of the picture

don’t crucify
elucify me,
like when I loved Luci
and induced the “buy” dream
boosted up to visions of exponent mind cream
silver seamed
until the soul
was esteemed.

here’s a piece of paper
a skin scraper
identifies your medical issue
with the swipe of a tissue
and before VR, there’s vNAR
"see you on the other side
of a sea star my dee-ar"

Joseph of Locent is posed to succeed
like mailchimp for IM or optimizely
for push notes, reminders, and chat bots
the type you'll be building with chat fuel or Prompt

MailChimp overcharges - funds KQED
I guess we could all use another MC.

Fouad is making a StrongIntro.
Hiring the issue, referrals the balm
70% of stripe came from peer Intro's
and since their dank eng squad is known as the bomb
that’s where StrongIntro comes along.
Teespring - we’re users, so’s Zesty and Seg.
They make $10k a pop
so that’s pretty much swag

[ Heaving an hawing the poet crawls on
dragging the pen cross a page at near dawn
with mind all ablaze and a brain that’s so wrong
that drink you poured - what was so strong? ]

gigs. well done. like a flank state of being.
These guys did Audio. Yes!
That’s where we go,
on our “where should we” weekends
to freak and let go.

Rounding the corner! There’s less than ten left!
This git prime performance
a notch on our belts
a concept of “code churn”
is better than chode burn
I’m sorry I said it but
but sticky it sits.
I think we would try it, and see if it fits.

flying high in the sky is birdly
with a cute like cartoon bird
and it’s tweet so sweet to be birdly
in a world of cash burn and dev churn
so here’s what birdly is:
a chatbot in slack
that eggs diverse functions
and makes them all hatch.

and now while I’m stalled
on the subject of “hatch”
let me unlatch this lash on this batch
whip… crack.



fitting then to end it and to rend it ‘solete
in the depths of the night ‘tween the warmth of the sheets
to quietly whisper right just before sleep:
“let’s depart one another, we're far too unique”
those were the terms of the equity split
clarity crisp and so thin that it rips.

Notably in the moment and locking it all in
is this poet throwing shade to the wind: